Sorrow's Pocket

Tears being held back tightly, afraid to let go, because suicide will immediately follow suit. There are no more doors or windows to be opened, all have been slammed shut or barricaded. Lifetime sorrow has been poured back and forth through all these years, trying to keep from overflowing. It seems to be no more, cannot fathom holding on any longer, must let go. Just an hour ago, holding pills of death within the palm of my hand, putting them back in my pocket - not quite ready yet. Still, I am ready to fall asleep forever, now as I speak on paper. Waiting just a while longer then to see if these feelings will pass. If not, I'll see you someday, sometime after death. (5: 49 p.m. - 1/5/96)