Wrapped In Sorrow

Deep down inside where only I can hide, lies the meaning of my life, figuring out many facets, going through years of experience, I try to find me out. Self-consciously doubting self over the years, feeling I had no value or worth, continuously proving it to myself, as time and again I would give up. Not realizing at the time, that I had already made it to the top, feeling inferior, shy, withdrawn within myself, toppling over fast and hard. Becoming the depression I felt I deserved, filling up with sadness to cover any anger and left myself dangling, play- ing with suicide like a game, a challenge I hadn't yet met. Finalizing life, ending it with no glory, turned in upon myself in fury, never lifting a finger, never reaching out to anyone, continuing to stay alone. Wrapped up in sorrow of myself, becoming numb and digging a grave, burying myself, my identity, way down deep, then looking in a mirror I laughed at myself. So pitiful, so sad my face did look, as it mirrored what I held inside, seeing only the child there, reflecting years gone by. Wanting some attention, always, to keep on living, stay- ing away from suicide as long as possible to let some love grow inside of self. Little child, lost, alone, in a desolate state of mind, trying to undo the past for it was not her crime, but that of her parents.