Hard Faith

It’s hard to love and to care and to turn the other cheek. Hard not to want and get angry. Hard not to say “why not me”? Hard to forgive and forgive and forgive. Hard to do his will not mine. Any why is this? When it is God that is good, not I When it is God who knows best, not I When it is God who is my friend, and sustains me, When it is God who gives life and love and forgiveness. Yet, it is hard. Hard not to lie for what I want, Hard to trust and have faith, Hard to see the whole of the path, Hard to give up and give in. And why is this? When it is God who knows all, and I nothing. When it is God who makes the rains to fall When it is God who numbers each strand of my hair. When it is God who I desperately pray to for strength. But it is so very hard. And I am ashamed of it all, my sin. My coveted, held onto, longed for, sin Yet my sin seems small, and justifiable, While everyone else’s are large and without reason. And why is this? Are not all sins the same to God? Does he not cry the same tear for each? Does it not pain him with each lie I tell? Do I not hurt and defy him with abandon? It is because it is hard, To have faith and to do his will. It is because it is easy, To sin and to do mine. It is because I am human.