11 Scots Poems From Flat Out

1.Nature Abhors a Vacuum (Aristotle) In the wyme's chaumer Velvet drapes wyte tae be swypit aside Eftir the ficher o fore-play Tae swacken the hinges Flaps grup at the incamin body Like a sea-flooer grups the satty maet that feeds it The chaumer trimmles eftir the incamer depairts Syne steeks its yetts Fair foonert wi the eftirstang o pleisur 2.War: Inspired by the painting ‘War' by Marc Chagall (1887-1985) Flicht an exile. Twinty years eftir Warld war II This pictur tuik twa years tae execute A hallyrackit, bumshayvelt cairt, Wechtit doon wi fowk Flees frae a birsslin toun Ahin the cairt, a cheil hyters on shank's mere A stappit pyoke ower his shooders Aa he ains in life. In derkness, tae the richt Jesus hings on the cross, takkin nae tent. A muckle fite lammie breenges ooto the grun The sacrifice tae Peace Or is't a goat bein fed tae the lowe? Puir Jewish scapegoat risin in rikk tae Heiven. 3.Thanatos: inspired by the painting Night Hawk by Edward Hopper We aa ken at least ae body fa wauks alane An ootlinn, giein the hee-haw tae the warld Turnin their face tae the waa. Ane sclimmt a Ben in Winter, Dooned a bottle o fusky, tapped up wi peels Syne fell asleep foraye in the blin smore Anither blew his heid aff wi a gun, A fine-like sottar for inthers tae redd up eftir Haun on hairt, Hae ye niver thocht like thon Crossin a brig, or heich on a cliff tap Tae step frae noo tae niver in ae wheech? Gin ye hinna, ye maun be a lucky cheil. 4.The Beetle in the Box connached-pyocher-scunner-clachan-dumfounert-wattergaw-clishmaclavers- mart-hurcheon-whigmaleeries-hudderie-yowedendrift-malagarooze-mochie-emerteens-teuch-stooshie-bihoochie-skelp-disjaskit-tcyaav-smeddum-smachrie-kirk-wally-dugs- plook-harns-jaad-heeze-aybydan-tapsalteerie-merrymatanzie 5.The Flat Earth Society Is the Eird a baa? Weel, sudn't we faa Fin it birls ben the lift like peerie? Sudn't kangaroos bluid Rin aa tae their heid Fin Australia hings tapsalteerie? I think it's a discus, an ashet, a frisbee This kenspeckle plook o a planet In a thoosan years mair Science will, I am shair Pruve the Eird is as flat as a bannock 6.The Souling Song Chorus (repeat after each verse) : A soul, a soul, a soul cake, Please, gweed wumman, a soul cake, An aipple, a pear, a ploom or a gean, Ony gweed thing this Halloween. Ane for Peter, twa for Paul, Three for Him that vrocht us aa. God bless the maister o this hoose an the mistress as weel An aa the teenie bairnies that roon yer table reel, Likewise your lads an lassies, your kye an aa tae spare An aa that bides inbye yer yetts, We wish ye ten times mair. The lanes are unca clarty an ma sheen are unca thin, I've got a wee pooch I can pit a penny in. Gin ye hinna got a penny, a ha' penny will dae, Gin ye hinna got a ha' penny, syne God bless ye. 7. The Aborted Noo at the turnin o the Deid Thraa o the year Open yer yetts tae midnicht, the fyauch o Daith Dae ye hear the pammer o wee tint feet Yarked frae the wyme afore they first drew braith? Wee ghaists, the nameless anes Shilpit an quaet, that niver larned tae spikk The unborn wheech alang teem streets like rikk Green leaves, plucked doon in Spring Millions o micht hae bins like snuffed oot caunle wikk Their anely merker in Yule's cauld on-ding The clocks o Time tick on An they can anely watch blythe quines an men Live oot the lives that wir denied tae them. 8.The Widda Baxter's Wae-Sang Fit means the future tae me? I hae tint the luv o ma life He held oor merriege dear Twis a pleisur tae be his wife Sangs? He'd a lintie's knack O wheeplin douce an bonnie Cryin me back I gaed tae a public concert O Bartok, Chopin, Bach In the taxi leavin eftir Thon's far I missed his lauch I gaed on a tour o Egypt Hame o the tribbled Nile Bi the stoor o Thoth an Isis Thon's far I missed his smile Syne I kent at last, he'd left me Like the shards frae brukken glaiss I wyle oot the myndin's splinters The loss that hurts the maist 9.Yalla Yeities Inspired by a wildlife photo by Catriona Low Yalla yeitie, bricht as breem Harbinger o Simmer days Like a fleein skirk o sun Wheeplin, wheeplin ower the braes Yeitie wi the yalla croon Dingin waefu thochties doon 10.The Butterflee Effect Fur wint o a nail the shee wis tint. Fur wint o a shee the shelt wis tint. Fur wint o a shelt the rider wis tint. Fur wint o a rider the battle wi tint. Fur wint o a battle the kingdom wis tint. An aa fur the wint o a horseshee nail. (traditional) 11.Flood Last nicht I saw the ragin Dee Cam roarin brack neck doon in flood Like a broon shelt that's bukken free An kicks an rears unbridled, wud Cars, hames an larries tossed aboot Brukken like kinnlers in the faem It crummlit roads tae smithereens Like a spyled bairn, tired o a game It buckled brigs, as if tae say Hae ye the pouer tae dae the same? Aneth the meen, the Dee'd begot A fearsome michty juggernaut