Wave Upon Wave

I stand alone along the vast shore. The deep waters are greatly troubled as am I. The waves moan fearful. The froth upon the wind terrifying, a consuming rage. Far out upon the barely, barely visible horizon is a light. Perhaps a ship, well beyond the fear borne of the dark waves. It looks so peaceful, so right, way out there, far from this danger. How I long to be on that ship. At peace. Content. Joyful. Calm. I want so to tell someone; who would listen? Who could understand this longing? The angry waves are so loud, blinding, overwhelming... And yet, below the surface all is so beautiful, calm even. Down there all moves gently, acceptingly, lovingly. I am afraid. I never learned strength. I pause, often, looking too much at the anger of the waves all about. I want someone to push me in. God, please. In the last desperate moments of a life that is gone I walk slowly in past the raging waves that take my tears with them. I go under. There is peace. I hold my breath. I shall not return...