As You Fell

. The spirit that dwells in our soul- not the mean spirit, or the poor spirit, or the spiritless one, but the warm spirit you know the one the one that returns us to childhood and the touch of Mother's hand on our brow, the one that returns us to the day we begged Daddy to let the squirmy rainbow trout off the hook and he did and together we watched it go free to swim wriggles and squiggles through the waters of the lake the spirit that returns us to the day we met our first best friend forever in the 2nd grade and how we felt so self-conscious until he said the new glasses were cool the spirit that returns us to the young and tender beginnings of love between a man and his woman that spirit that warm spirit that has never forgotten will never forget will never want to forget that is the same warm spirit that also returns us to the day we felt such an intense love for mankind as it plummeted from the tower one September day.... ... as you plummeted from the tower floor by floor by floor and we remember you today and every yesterday since exactly as we saw you then as you plummeted down through the sky down through the ashes down through the drifts of paper down through the last moments of your life we did not know you blameless victim of strangers' hate but we wrapped you up in the warmth of our love for you and we held you deep inside the longing of that luminous spirit within us it was all we could do but we did it with all our might we sent our thoughts to you and if ever that can be done it was done that morning we wanted you oh how we wanted you to feel the warmth of our souls' love for you as you plummeted so far but not far enough as you plummeted for so long but not long enough you were running out of sky falling man alone in the sky alone in that hopeless fall we would not turn away we had to stay we had to stand guard over your last journey over the last moments of your life we could not bear you to fall alone alone in fear between one story and one moment and the next story and the next moment going by too fast going by too slow thinking in agony of all the lost days you will never have all the lost days you will never wake up slow and sweet with your beloved the lost one where you walk along the shore enjoying the waves lapping at your feet the one where you watch a child fly his kite and you smile in remembrance the one where the sunset sets fire to the mountain peaks the one where you hold your friend while he grieves so we could not turn away we would not turn away we had to watch you fall we had to stay and hold you and be with you every horror of the way oh how we wanted you to know that you were loved loved far more than the hatred of little men loved you with the intensity of a sister loved you with the yearning burning of an orphaned child loved you with the hallowed pain of a Mother loved you dear falling man and oh how we longed for your heart to be at ease to be feeling your Mother's hand on your brow to be feeling the freedom of the day the rainbow was set free to be feeling the kind smile of your very first best friend to be feeling the love of your woman and to be feeling all the love from the people below reaching out reaching up to hold you as you fall . . ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©2017 Susan Williams