Almost Sonnet

At one instant it seemed to be within my grasp: Your love was a jewel I could reach out and feel. It made me come alive as nothing had before; I felt no need to keep it in a selfish clasp. I knew it was something no one could ever steal, It had no need for locks; it was a magic door. I sit here now and think of what I would have found If I had walked the way my heart still bids me go (The closest word I know is "paradise"), But here my body's tied to a stake in the ground Of many yesterdays and not one tomorrow, And though it may implore and struggle, still it lies In all the mud of language that turns doors to walls And makes the best of truths, despite us, false.