Decision Of Write

The moment I picked up pen was the accumulation signaling manifold contributing factors. A step taken inevitably against reasoned desire. When exhausted body battered mind desperately desired attainment, to enter, hallowed sanctified portals. Promising blessed sweet sleep. Obsessed. Plagued days treacherous nights on unmitigated end. Motivating to this tethered point issuing bodily command. Formally issued at obedient minds reluctant acceptance. For I was at an age a point reached in time. Tipped finely hung balance. Rushing thought came surging forth in torrents. Will summoned in guard. Swept away leaving only scattered remnants. Flooded broken defence. Mind stood alone, blinking, naked, before horizon’s looming advancing chaotic choice. Approaching in overwhelming multitude. Open uprooted drifting aimlessly. Before mountainous sweeping waves of indecision. The reason meaning behind life indelible actions; now belatedly confronted edges; demanded to be grappled with. Sought Understood Known. Directions found for purposes choices in multiplicity posing life searched out. Goals defined enlarged upon. First step; of leave-taking; was taken. Never could we turn back. On a journey like a needle. Searched for in a shifting. Wind blown hay-stack of husks. All was changed turning back indomitable; hands recording time. Was blocked; by universal will. From precision point to advancement. We would cipher information formulate thought yielding ever refined properties. Sifting dimensions in levels challenging consciousness. Build a few choice pieces in scale tuned multilevel attunement. Over a period embodying doubting months. To achieve first enlightenment pertaining works. Symbolizing a scope point of intensified mental relief focus not sort or realized in numerous lesser later works. Remember tormental twisting nightmare. Before birth spun creation. Catalytic turbine emotion before realization attainment unseen bodily change. Contractions occurring naturally brought on in assembled directed. Support defining developing stages. Losing direction at times in search prolonged. Moments of sustained. Heart pumping brilliant neuro neural neuron mind light embodiment. In such moments half an hour an hour; slipping by; in seeming heart beats. Lost in contemplation; ever descending meaning; enfolding a couple. Sometimes less than a single line. Meaning finally understood; realized; yet never brought. Back past brink. Containing previous complete understanding. Known in universally attuned; subconscious; inner mind. Always dancing freely frustratingly; in a hungered region; just beyond taunting; seeking write reach. Recognized intuitively. Seen. On point embracing understanding fleetingly. In just beyond brink. Returning to normality leaves us depressed in mood; empty hollow weak. To carry on life a task; seemingly beyond; one rendered so mild and meek. Depression constantly hungers; to claim; low ebb life. So battle of wills is fought acted upon. As we aspire a sphere all goodness golden wed. A place where angels tread. Copyright © Terence George Craddock Written on the 8th of March 1989.