Choosing A Pet

I need a new pet but I'm at a loss. You can't count the cat. He's no pet. He's the boss. An Elephant might do. I could nick one from the Zoo. I'm sure they wouldn't mind If they find they're one behind They must have a dozen or two. I could take it to the pub For some tasty grub And maybe a few gallons of beer I'd cry; 'Fill your trunk, my dear.' But then I checked on Google. Zounds They eat a hundred pounds Of veg. each day! That's more Even than a hungry teenager! Better try another option. For my new adoption. Something with a lovely smile.. Of course, a crocodile! It would love my great wide pond And the jungle reaching out beyond. I could brush her little teeth Stroke her jaw line just beneath.. And put a pretty ribbon on her snout. But then I have a doubt. What would she have to eat? What is her favourite treat? An Antelope or two.. From the local Zoo...? Why take the risk of being caught With neighbours easily sought. His wife would shed a tear If old Ron over there Were suddenly to disappear! Or maybe not. From what she said, He's pretty well half dead, Already, So we'd be doing her a favour, And a fat treat for you, Clarissa. What's that you say, young Purry? Something nice and furry? What, like that shrew you're playing with Just like a toy..A toy A toy Oh boy why didn't I think of that solution. A Kangaroo or stuffed hippo To decorate my patio. And it would cost me zilch in food In prosecutions, or being sued By widows of departed neighbours Thanks, Purry, for another of your favours!