Highway Maintenance

HIGHWAY MAINTENANCE PREAMBLE I was stuck in a traffic jam behind that traditional Summer occasion called "ROAD WORKS". I was behind a big van Called "Highway Maintenance". My mind switched into idle mode And inevitably silly mode followed. I considered the words.. Highway Maintenance.. Result of a Divorce? Well, roads split up. Left, right straight ahead... into cul de Sacs.. Bit like marriages! Then I thought about roads and made these jottings in my mind MINOR ROADS kids' stuff MAJOR ROADS For Military personnel only TRUNK ROADS Beware of Elephants bearing uprooted Trees (er Sorry.. Virgil) BY ROADS Must be joking. Far too expensive CIRCULAR ROAD Delivers leaflets you never read. CROSS ROADS Be polite. A mad road is a bad, bad road. ARTERIAL ROAD Listen for heart beat RHODES ROAD only for Oxford Scholars. HIGH & LOW I'll be in Scotland afore ye. IN ROADS The smart place to be. COUNTRY ROADS These follow ancient tracks made by Seriously inebriated sheep on their way Home from the pub. ROAD WORKS This is where you drive up in your new Stretch limo and the guy holding up the "GO" sign thinks.. "Ah, we have a right Smart ass here.." and promptly whizzes the Sign round to "STOP" before you can get Through. You look ahead and the drama Unfolds. Chap in Orange safety jacket is Leaning on his spade, peering intently at A small hole. Just to his right a large Committee has formed and a great Discussion ensues. Have they discovered Another astonishing archaeological find, Like another King's body turning up. Or possibly their next tea-break? Doesn't matter. You sit there fuming. Realising "Road Works" is meant to be Ironic.