Marie's Song

Clouds evaporate my shadow. Ancestral portraits rise Gilded shallow ghosts From stair-wells, corridors and halls. Fine statues also Cast in bronze or hewn from marble, pretentiously eternal. But these belong to him Not me. My relatives andfriends Appear alone within the confines Of a compact photo album, Rectangular graves for both the living And the dead, excluded from me By his derision and a weird ancestral Pride in what was just A brief commercial history, Largely built upon the backs of slaves, Who, saddled with his name, Suffered sharp lash and shame For the sweet taste of sugar, Their ancient culture crushed, As though a nest of ants, their blood Embedded in this noble structure. Ifeel their harshest pain, The loss of true identity. He wants me to himself, That's his perpetual refrain. Not mine. I only want My being back, my intuition, Before this gradual self-erosion Is frozen in a portrait Grazing with these others In tomorrow's pastures, Or prize bloom to decorate a room Or marionette to reinforce His ego-centric And coercive firm control Mymaster puppeteer. What paralysis of will Creates the endless nightmare? The dark man,mythic predator. Who chases me through glades As I look back in terror, Shedding golden tears Relentless falling leaves To leave me naked as the Fall's Surrender. And will surrender Endthis agony of recall? But here I am alone And draw a cartoon image Of my late tormentor. He sports a heavy beard.Black? Or is it blue? No! That'smyth. This isa bloodless violence. I see him now with his psychotic smile Contrastedwith his knobbly knees And mini Bridal gown Swept down behind to brimming Train andposy clutched In grubby manic hands. He looks less threatening now, in fact ridiculous in this posture As the perfect bearded bride! I smile at my creation, secrete It in my pocket, my Vasilisa, As my protective doll Intuitive as the source of laughter. I even dare direct my gaze Towardsthe Meissen Ware, Priceless as it stands but not As broken crockery! Do I dare? Oh, do I dare To smash it into smithereens? Only in my dreams for now, One step at a time... Yes, one step at a time...