Endure

I've been positively angry at dusk, suicidal in the candlelight, forlorn and sad in speechless despair with no desire to see another human. I've drowned in the swirling waves of insensitive remarks that unfortunately I made, the pools of remorseful tears. I've waited for the morning light to say my prayers to any source of illumination and then continued my way in darkness. I always thought someone would appear with flowers or explanations that could make this existence clear and point to the path of eventual meaningful love. I now pace myself with small events: I'll make it to dinner or to church, always hoping I'll survive to yet endure some unexpected or uncalled for hurt. 4: 59AM 3-11-2018