Esther, A Sonnet Sequence: Xlv

I followed dumb and shrinking like a thief Close in her shadow from the women's guess, Yet ruthlessly betrayed for my cheeks' grief From head to foot in the tall pier--glasses. My vagabond attire, my coat all rags, My tattered plaid stained with the summer's dust, The sash which bound my waist all gaps and jags, With gaiters frayed and such sad shoes as must Have served Ulysses at his journey's close; All these I saw revealed to my disgrace, My hat still crowned with its last Alpine rose, And what she had called my ``John the Baptist's face'' Red with confusion and the rage of youth, I saw it all, the whole remorseless truth.