Said I To Myself, Said I

When I went to the Bar as a very young man (Said I to myself - said I), I'll work on a new and original plan (Said I to myself - said I), I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief Is a gentleman worthy implicit belief, Because his attorney, has sent me a brief (Said I to myself - said I!) I'll never throw dust in a juryman's eyes (Said I to myself - said I), Or hoodwink a judge who is not over-wise (Said I to myself - said I), Or assume that the witnesses summoned in force In Exchequer, Queen's Bench, Common Pleas, or Divorce, Have perjured themselves as a matter of course (Said I to myself - said I!) Ere I go into court I will read my brief through (Said I to myself - said I), And I'll never take work I'm unable to do (Said I to myself - said I). My learned profession I'll never disgrace By taking a fee with a grin on my face, When I haven't been there to attend to the case (Said I to myself - said I!) In other professions in which men engage (Said I to myself - said I), The Army, the Navy, the Church, and the Stage, (Said I to myself - said I), Professional licence, if carried too far, Your chance of promotion will certainly mar - And I fancy the rule might apply to the Bar (Said I to myself - said I!)