Granny Discovers Another Tiger

That's him!! The authentic, identical beast! The Unionist tiger, full brother to 'Sosh'! I know by the prowl of him. Hark to the growl of him, While all the people ejaculate 'Gosh! Just look at him glarin' an' starin', by thunder! Now each for himself and the weakest goes under.' Beware this injurious, furious brute; He's ready to rend you with tooth and with claw. Though 'tis incredible, Anything edible Disappears suddenly into his maw; Into his cavernous inner interior Vanishes ev'rything strictly superior. My dears, I've autoptical, optical proof That he's prowling and growling at large in the land. Hear his pestiferous Clamor vociferous Urging to war his belligerent band! Talk about Circe and - who's this - Ulysses! Never was monster so monstrous as this is. I've watched this abdomenous, omnious shape Abroad in the land while the nation has slept, Marked his satanical Methods tyrannical; Rigorous, vigorous vigil I kept. He has wicked designs on all right-thinking people! Proclaim it aloud from the housetop and steeple! He lays his corrodible, odible plans While cutely disguising his ultimate claims. Into your auricle Words oratorical He will declaim with ulterior aims. And if as a foe he should happen to spot us, One gulp - and his great epiglottis has got us! The tremulous, emulous workers he snares By most reprehensible, tensible schemes. Slyly insidious, Vilely invidious Are his designs to encourage their dreams. But watch, when they're under his dominant digit, His finical, cynical smile as they fidget. The shockingly punitive, unitive means He uses to battle with enterprise private Are indefensible Quite reprehensible. Lord only knows what at last he'll arrive at! And when he has swallowed the whole of the nation He'll probably start on self-assimilation. He scoffs at convenient, lenient laws He'd scoff every toff in the House known as Upper If he'd a precedent; Every resident In the best suburb would serve him for supper. Good gravious, voracious is hardly the name for it! Yet we have only our blindness to blame for it. For mark, his insidious, hideous creed He propagates even 'mid grocers and drapers, And they give ear to it, Bow, and adhere to it, 'Spite all the capers of well-informed papers. For e'en with the aid of an lens omphaloptic They can't see the glare in his obdurate optic. Then 'ware this obstreperous, leperous beast! A treacherous wretch, for I know him of old. I'm on th etrack of him, Close at the back of him, Tight on his tail I have taken a hold. And if I gave over my earnest endeavor, The nation were lodged in his larynx for ever. It's him!! The authentic, identical beast! I know him 'The Unionist,' brother to 'Sosh'! See how I'm holding him, Nagging and scolding him, While he is yearning his betters to squash; Yearning and burning to snare the superior Into his roomy and gloomy interior