Danse Macabre (22 Scots Poems)

1.Kings is the perfect place tae be Tune: Oh No John etc Come tae Kings fin May is bloomin Wird is there. Ye'll surely meet Buik prize winners, sancts an sinners Dinna wyte, ensure yer seat Kings is the perfect place tae be Taiko drummers, Manga, Ceilidhs Mair nur saxty authors here Film an barderie, Art, theatre North East highlicht o the year Kings serves a cannie cup o tea Ireland, Spain, America Bulgaria Petrarch, Darwin ghaistie trains Doric, Gaelic, bring yer uncle Alec Best o claik an brichtest brains Kings brings ye tales o seannachie Tartan Noir, First Aid fur Fairies Unicorns an Whiskey tours Eejits, Readin Bus an Bogies Trysts in Zoo at the Midnicht Oors Kings brings ye things o oddity Dinna dauchle buik yer ticket Throw the university See the treisurs therein gaithered Fit's mair some events are free Kings is the perfect place tae be! 2.Daith's Hit-List of the Makars With apologies to William Dunbar & Kenneth C. Calman MacCaig, Maclean, prood Lord Byron Ian Crichton-Smith, swack Henryson Fergusson, Bruce o Broch kintry Daith is the weird we aa maun dree Oliphant, Garrie, William Soutar, Laing, Garioch, douce Angus Calder Mackay Brown, Cruickshank, wry Murray Daith keeps a goodly company! Tho sawbeens an physicians strive Tae cure their patients, nane can rive Their prey, frae the Derk Angel's grip Aneth the yird ilk ane maun slip Fine wirds can jink the Reaper's cleuk An live as lang's there's prent an buik Sae, tho the mools are derk an slee. Daith hauds nae swey ower barderie 3.Daith the Healer Stanley Robertson tells a traditional traveller's tale of an Old Woman who shut the door on Death. Here, I have turned the story into a song, sung to the tune 'The Wind & the Rain' Aince an auld cailleach steekit her front yett Daith, daith, she'll nae let ye inbye She'd meat an fuel eneuch tae keep her hett In the cauld kirkyaird she swore she'd niver lie Winter cam howlin roon aboot the warld Daith, daith, she'll nae let ye inbye Roon cauld rig banes her plaidie she has furled In the cauld kirkyaird she swore she'd niver lie Syne at her windae, a tinkler lassie chapped Barfit, she socht a bield tae bide Tho the sna fell thick the cailleach she had vowed There's nane wad share her warm fireside The quine lay doon on the snawy snawy grun Like tae dee in the cauld blin smore The auld wife's taen the tinkler lassie in Till the Spring brocht flooers tae thon lanely door Come auld wife, wauk oot wi me Spring's here, the blossom's on the lea 0 na sweet quine I winna step ootbye Daith lies in wyte fur sic bodies as me She's taen the auld wife by the han Heivens flooers are winnerfu tae see These are the blooms o Paradise They growe on the howes o Eternity Auld wife, auld wife, it's are ye blin Daith's dues nae mortal can deny Ye Deed the day ye let me in In the sweet kirkyaird noo ye maun lie 4.Twa Birdies Abune a dyke a spurgie sang Grey chikks, grey wyme, grey croon His thrapple an his briest, war blaik His beak, bricht yalla-broon The sonsie quine he wooed wis blate Dowped on a wheelie bin He churred he cheeped, he bobbed fu deep Her maidenheid tae win He promised her the brawest nest A spurgie's wife micht wish A door o ivy, waas o strae Sweet crocus for a dish He vowed he'd bring her butterflees The rarest he cud bring Tae feed her, gin she'd bit agree Tae weir his waddin ring As watter weirs a stane awa Tae gar him haud his wheesht She merriet him. An noo there's Sax new spurgies on the reest. 5. The Scots Diaspora tune: The Deil's Awa wi Exciseman Dedicated to Billy Kay, author of The Scottish World: A Journey into the Scots Diaspora, Mainstream Publishing,2008 Tae Norroway frae Cairnbulg, tae fjord frae Buchan shore, man A Bulger sailed tae makk his merk far seal an reindeer roar, man He sattled yonner, tuik a wife, the years gaed birlin roon, man An syne wis born Edvard Grieg, the maister o guid tune, man America is big a braw, some like Andrew Carnegie Fa'd think that a philanthropist could fill sae deep a coggie? In Pittsburg toun, this weaver's loon, by eident application Becam as rich as Croesus, sirs, an gaed awa his fortune Baith Scot an Yankee lue their sport, a baa tae kick or thump, man Oor coast'll hae a braa gowf-course, wi thanks tae Donald Trump, man In Nova Scotia, Cape Breton, oor pipes raise mony's a cantrip Roon Scarb'ro's Muddy Creeks ye'll hear the Scots revere their heirskip Aroon Japan there is ae man, as ye wad sune discover The Scottish Samurai they praise, the chiel caad Thomas Glover In Nagasaki he did trade, in industry he prospered An shared his lear, an wisna sweir, tae shakk the hands they offered Tae Africa sailed Livingstone, wi jungle breets fur neebors Far frae Blantyre by Zambesi, he screived agin the slavers An Mary Slessor wisna feared in Calabar tae settle Tae tell the tribal chiefs o God, an pit them on their mettle Gin ye cried by the wintry coort, o Peter, Russia's Tsar, man Ye'd find his dominies war Scots, weel-eesed tae cauld an haar, man Paul Menzies, Henry Farquharson, baith shared their sense an skills, man An Robert Erskine he wis there, tae cure the Royal ills, man The Auld Alliance ower in France, fin warld war two wis ragin A secret agent in the kirk o Paris, wis assuagin The plight o Allied servicemen, his name wis Rev. Caskie The Tartan Pimpernel, he risked his life in mony's a plisky The Seminole o Florida, the Cree fowk o the Plains, man Hae mairriet wi the immigrants frae Scotia's hills an glens, man The Chieftain o the Cherokee, grown auld afore his years, man Wis Lang John Ross o Heilan bluid, that wauked the Trail o Tears, man Twa names abune them as staun oot, for luv o liberty, man Twa poets, Burns an Byron baith, weel laudit ower the sea, man The Greeks extol the son o Gight, in daith he pruved his wirth, man While Burns, fa niver left oor shore's, kent roon the Muckle Furth, man Sae here's tae the diaspora, an tae the ties that bind them Like ivy-wreath tae kith an kin, an may we ever mind them Tho ocean wide, it may divide the baimies frae the Mither We'll raise a glaiss for Scotia's sake, o cheer fur ane anither! 6.A Tribute to Stanley Robertson Fit did ye learn at yer mither's knee? Nummers an ABC's? The traiveller's bairn roon the camp fire rikk Learned ancient mysteries Did ye bide in a street in a granite hoose Wi a shop-bocht clock's sma chime? The traiveller's hame wis shiftin san The Sizzens merked his time Did ye watch the glitzy Hollywid tales On muckle pictur screens? The traiveller sang aff the beaten track O the sorras o Kings an Queens He learned the history o the lan Through legend, ballad an crack Nae frae a schule-buik, tape nor film Bit frae kinsmen hynie-back Mair precious than gowd that's easy spent Bricht as the seraphim Is the lear that the traiveller kept in his hairt Treisur sic fowk as him. 7.Hidden Sairs: for John Reid/David Toulmin (1913-1998) Ae day a loon on a fairm plunked skweel. Thon day he learned these lessons: That life wis wersh, That the makie-on o bairnhood Wis a fause bield. That atween hissel an his faither Lay a gulf as braid's an ocean. The puppet show he vrocht Wis a nochtie ferlie, Whigmaleerie o shadda an paper That the storm o his faither's rooze Could blooter wi ae neive. A loon, fa wad be a writer, Booed in the peetiless rain Tae hyew the neeps, Blawn seed in a lane rig. He grew, a chiel amang us In the hard sheenin corn o the cauld Nor East An aa the whyles His hauns spun gowd frae strae Briered in a roch airt An ilkie year o warssle a hidden sair The Clyack Shaif wis his, Sprung frae a late hairst, Lang in the growin, Sweet in the gaitherin in. 8.Scottish Place Names in Canada Airdrie, Ardrossan, Bonnie Doon Bon Accord, Calgary, Barhead Banff, Carstairs, Mount Hector, Clyde Mintlaw, Mallaig, & Bankhead Abbotsford, Balfour, Invermere Craigellachie, Montrose, Fintry Angusville, Elgin, Elphinstone Gretna, MacGregor, Carberry Dalhousie, Drummond, Aberdeen Lower Kintore & Hamilton Iona, Melrose, Holyrood Buchans, Balmoral, Campbellton Glencoe & Knoydart, fair Loch Broom Dunvegan, Inverness, Argyle New Ross, New Glasgow, Finlayson Macmillan Pass & Melville Isle Angus & Alloa, Ailsa Craig Coutts, Aberfeldy, Aberfoyle Ardbeg & Ardoch, Armadale Arstrong & Ayr & Campbellville Badenoch, Baxter, Ballantrae Bannockburn, Bothwell, Berriedale Brechin & Bruce, Cairngorm, Cargill Crombie, Dalmeny, Gillies Hill Dalrymple, Drummond, Feruslea Glenburnie, Glencaim, Invermay Jura, Kilsyth, Kincardine, Laird Lanark, Lochalsh, MacDonald's Bay Macdiarmid, Lowther, Leith, MacDuff MacGillivray's Bridge, Lake Dalrymple Malcolm & Morven, Lammermoor Paisley, New Scotland, Nairn, Maxwell Perth, Rannoch, Renfrew, Scone, Scotch Bush Speyside, St. Andrews, Tarbert, Tay Tweed, Breadalbane, Glenfinnan Isle Lochaber, Thurso, Stornoway Arran, Balcarres, Cupar, Kyle Girvan, Glen Ewan, Balgownie Markinch & Mortlach, Ravenscraig Orkney, Tiree, Inchkeith, Birsay 9.A Plea fur Mercy Hae fiver ye tholed a langamachie Fin 'a fyew wee wirdies' streetch tae a buik? An niver a mercy seat in sicht Tae park yer dowp in a quaet neuk? Oh fur a shears tae snip the threid O spikk, fin pouer rins tae the heid O some wee pedant fa's gien free rein Tae pooshun yer lug an numb yer brain Gie's the scauld's bridle or mercy seat Or a crook, tae blooter him aff his feet. 10.Gulliver Fin I wis a littlin Hikers an climmers thocht I wauked alane An ootlinn amang ma fiers Dis yer ma ken ye play yersel Far the linn cowps ower wi a roar? A ghillie speired, his gun slung ower his airm. I telt him I wis sib tae the glen I telt him the burn spak tae me I telt him the wid wis ma frien Lyin doon in the heather I let a hairy oobit crawl ower ma haun Gulliver, raxxin oot in the sun A curtain, drapped frae its runners Sae fu o licht I could daunce on the heid o a preen 11.The Hamecomin o the The Wolf – As I cam in by Cnocan Dubh the reekin lums war smored The weemin milkin on the braes, thin ghaists on Beinn a Bhuird At Coble Croft the cottars' waas war tummlet torques o stane Auld heroes in their nerra graves war fitenin sticks o bane The Tree o Gowd by Luibeg wis wizzent tae a stump The muckle wids I eesed tae prowl war dwinnlet tae a clump At Carn na Cuimhne, lang I stude, the roch win in my face Mydin on tales o Druid times, dwined withoot track or trace In Shetland, wolves war Wulver men. The Pawnee caad us blessed In mony an airt aroon the warld, a wolf wis caad a guest For frae the Wolf Star Sirius, my kinsmen trode the trail Alang the Speerit Path far ghaisties birled like astral hail Bit I wis born near Invercauld, heich on Creag Choinnich's side Baith sherp o tooth an wit forbye, I focht tae win a bride An faithered cubs tae dog the deer, throwe warmth, an Winter's snaa Till ane by ane, masel the last, Clan Fhionnlaigh slew us aa Oorie, the glens I eesed tae stalk, a crined, unscented flooer An I masel, a shadda-shape, a wolf o whiff o stoor 12.Lichtnin The nicht ma faither wis born Lichtnin entered the hame like a bricht angel Doon throw the lum it wheeched Birsslin the chaumer door on the wye oot. It wis Winter. The loch had jeeled Aroon the seggs, the watter like A keekin-glaiss o milk Ma faither's rage cud rock the verra Heivens Havver peace like an aixe Aabody keepit a calm sooch till it sattled. The lift wis aywis bluer eftir the storm. 14.The Buik Launch: Tune: Geordie Weir Weel, ye've written yer buik an ye think it is braw Yer hopin tae launch it at Wird or Stanza There's jist the ae blot, an it's nae made o ink Thon thing cad the critic, fa's faschious tae jink Fowk speir noo an then fit ye dae for yer wark Dae ye earn a fyew pence bi the swyte o yer sack? Ye tell them that barderie rins in yer bluid An they glower as if ye'd sprootit horns on yer heid An syne there's the foxes that pad throw the hoose Leavin fitprents ahin them, queer thochts on the loose Nae winner some bards droon their sorras in booze Weir their claes inside oot or are randy as doos Maist luvers fin spurned takk the thing in their stride Speed-date or sen aff fur a mail-order bride Bit yer poet screives ballads o melancholy Lets his bleedin hairt stoon fur the hale warld tae see War ye brocht up on breid-an-air, watter an kicks? Write confessional poetry an gie it big licks Makk ilkie wee sonnet as derk as a bruise An declaim like a Heilanman weirin ticht trews Here's advice tae puir craturs fas thochts rin on rhyme Like Big Ben on the oor ye are programmed tae chime Tae the sports car, the pent hoose, the fame, bid adieu Gyang hire ye a garret an sign on the Broo. 15. Burns comes tae Burnheid o Blairs for Sandy & Doreen Petrie. Mrs. Petrie is a descendent of the North East Burness family, from which the poet himself was descended. `The 250th anniversary of the birth of Robert Burns has been celebrated on a global scale and as it should be - with dancing, singing, laughter and of course the odd dram.' Alex Salmond, First Minister Wi pheasant feather in its dowp Its hochs wi tartan ribbons happed The haggis, ferried frae the hoose Is served wi neeps an tatties, chapped The stove inbye the sheddie's primed Cheers, set like sardines in a tin Bit frienships like an open pooch Wi luck, ye'll ay fit ae mair in A pre-recordit quine tries hard Frae a wee box, tae cherm the lug Bit music, live frae fiddler bow's The thing that gars oor hairt-strings rug Three generations host the nicht A grandson licks a trifle speen Reid-chikkit lad, the caunle-lowe Sets starlicht glimmrin in his een The auld cock craws, the young ane learns As tis wi birds, tae tis wi bairns The littlin's lappit roon wi sang 0 love, o loss, o man's consarns Sae ilkie virgin century Encounters Burns. Like scattered corn His thochts, his loves, his hopes, his dreams Brier in the briests o fowk unborn Abeen, a wintry meen keeks doon On ither airts, an ither climes Nae ither kintra claims a bard Tae be the spokesman o fowk's minds Whaur, as at Burnheid o Blairs Burns stauns aside us, kens oor cares. 16.The Curlin Puil By a puil hard jeeled wi ice, On a howe in the hoch o Craig Coilleich I watched the sunlicht dee. Gloamin sat at the elbuck o the wid. On the far side o the brig, Rikk raise frae the clachan's lums A semaphore o cloud. The wud things o the knowe cheepit an flichtered Shaddas streeched like hoodies midnicht wings Slaw an siccar, hippit an weariet, the meen raise in the lift. 17.Death Fugue: by Paul Celan. Here, owersett into Scots Blaik milk o daybrakk we drink it doon at gloamin we drink it at noon in the mornin we drink it at nicht we drink it an drink it we howk the mools in the wins far ane lies unkistit A chiel bides in the hoose he plays wi the snakes he screives he screives fin gloamin faas tae Germany yer gowden hair Maggie he screives it an steps ootbye an the starnies are skinklin he fussles his pack oot he fussles his Jews oot in yird has them howk for a grave he gars us strikk up for the daunce Blaik milk o daybrakk we drink ye at nicht we drink ye in the mornin at noon we drink ye at gloamin we drink an we drink ye A chiel bides in the hoose he plays wi the snakes he screives he screives fin gloam faas tae Germany yer gowden hair Maggie yer hair o aisse Sulamith we howk the mools in the wins far ane lies unkistit He cries oot howk deeper inno the yird aabody ye ithers sing noo an play he rugs at the iron in his belt he wyves it his een are blue howk deeper ye chiels wi yer spads ye ithers play on for the daunce Blaik milk o daybrakk we drink ye at nicht we drink ye at noon in the mornin we drink ye at gloamin we drink an we drink ye a chiel bides in the hoose yer gowden hair Maggie yer hair o aisse Sulamith he plays wi the snakes He cries oot mair sweetly play daith daith is a maister frae Germany he cries oot mair derkly noo straik yer strings syne as rikk ye'll rise inno air syne a grave ye'll hae in the clouds far ane lies unkistit Blaik milk o daybrakk we drink ye at nicht we drink ye at noon daith is a maister frae Germany we drink ye at sundoon an in the mornin we drink an we drink ye daith is a maister frae Germany his een are blue he strikks ye wi leaden bullets his aim is true a chiel bides in the hoose yer gowden hair Maggie he sets his pack ontae us he gies us a grave in the air He plays wi the snakes an dwaums daith is a maister frae Germany your gowden hair Maggie yer hair o aisse Shulamith 18.Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh: Owersett here into Scots They waukened me this mornin tae tell me ma brither had been killt in battle. Yet in the gairden, ootraxxin dyewy petals, a new rose briers on the buss. An I am leevin, can yet breathe the smell o roses an middens, ett, pray, an sleep. Bit fan can I brakk ma lang seelence? Fan can I spikk the unspukken wirds that smore me? From: The Cry of Vietnam Unicorn Press, Santa Barbara, CA,1968, p.22 19.Danse Macabre — Fowk hae daunced since the stert o time Kick yer heels tae the piper's blaa Fiddle's bowin is blythe an braw The Danse Macabre will catch ye aa Silkies slidder ower Shetlan shores Solans reel ower Foula's snaa Strip the Willow Orcadian-kind The Danse Macabre will catch ye aa Ilkie hurricane needs a haven Music's bield is a wattergaw Psalm an shanty, lament an paeon The Danse Macabre will catch ye aa Carol, madrigal, stinch precentor Galliard, troubadour, Ars Nova Maypole, Morrisman, hornpipe jig, The Danse Macabre will catch ye aa Dashin White Sergeant, Echtsome Reel The Fleein Scotsman aroon the haa Yiddish, Irish, Baroque or Pole The Danse Macabre will catch ye aa Michty Emperor, sonsie quine Aathin growes tae its ain doonfaa Littlin rowed in its kirkyaird cloots The Danse Macabre will catch ye aa 20.The Shuffle Monster There's a Muckle Shuffle Monster fleein roon the Milky Way His een are like twa bleezin lumps o coal His lugs are lang an pynty. He chaws asteroids like crisps An he bides doon at the foon o a Black Hole His best frien is a Martian, wi a Scorpion for a pet They explore the galaxies on Summer nichts The Martian's humfy-backit an the Shuffle Monster's green An the Scorpion's een are like twa traffic lichts They lowp frae Mars tae Jupiter on Pegasus the shelt (Their space umbrella stops a meteor shooer) Ye micht catch a glimpse bi meenlicht o the Shuffle Monster's kilt If he isna sailin through some astral stoor The Universe is feary, wi Reid Giants an Fite Dwarfs Fu o Heivenly dugs an bears made ooto stars Bit the Shuffle Monster's gallus an he disna easy fleg He's the winner o a umpteen Galactic wars And the Martian has a weapon..it's a really special pouer Wi ae luik he can shrink aathin wee as piz Bit he's really feart o Earthlins, sae ye needna hide an cooer As he wheechs alang the Heivens wi a fizz 21.The Campus Coo There's a coo on the campus She's haein a luik At a braw new production A Readin Bus buik! She'd like ye tae jyne her The buik is at King's There's poems aboot spacemen An midgies wi stings Ye'll meet dinosaurs, forkietails, Cats on a waa The wird on the street is It's Nae Bad Ava! 22. Seeventeen Bairn Rhymes Register Far's Maisie Finlay? Aff wi a hoast Far's Sunita Ranjeev? Chokit on her toast Far's Nimi Munzah His face is fu o plooks Far's Abdul Sharnam Paiddlin wi the dyeuks! Wee Sister I hae a wee sister, she burst ma fitba I wish the tooth fairy wid takk her awa She bust ma fitbaa an she blamed it on me I wish that a monster wad ett her fur tea! Big Brither My brither pits wirms in ma bath tub My brither pits slugs doon ma back Ae day tae the recyclin centre Ma brither I'd willinly tak An maybe, instead o a brither They'd recycle him as a bike I'd dae wheelies on him in the gairden Noo thon is brither I'd like! Baby Blues I dinna wint a baby. I'd rather hae a baa A tortoise or a rubbit. Dinna hae a baby, ma. Hae a budgie or a goldfish. Baby's makk an affa noise Willy Duthie's got a baby an it pinches as his toys! Neebors The fowk next door keep dugs that gurr A spittin cat wi taiglet fur An auld wrecked car in the backie there An a muckle bogie aneth the stair! The Rubbits' Prayer Please gie us greens for denner! We think that greens are braw! Wi salad for oor brakkfaist An celery tae chaw! Let us hae sprouts an parsley, Kail, piz, an rinner beans An dinna skimp on lettuce, Us rubbits luv oor greens! Flapper the Whale Fin Flapper the whale sets aff for school He wallops his tail an blaws his tap He staps his bag wi crisps an juice An aff he sweems wi a flappety flap! Mister Minger Mister Minger's got leathery skin, A baldie heid an a stibbly chin He etts fajitas an chaws the plate An I think Mister Minger's great! Sancastle RIP I like tae watch the boaties An play alang the shore I like tae look for partans An watch the seagulls soar I like tae bigg sancastles. I'm a cheery kinda lad I've jilt ae teenie problem.. Far did I beery dad? Mute I tint ma voice in bed last nicht. I think it's wi the stars I think it's singin lullabies Tae Jupiter an Mars! Measles The measles cam tae veesit. I'm happit, heid an tail There's ten on my bihoochie.. Nae winner I look pale! I feel jist like cheetah. My skin is fu o spots Bit fin I'm really scunnered, I jist jyne up the dots! Daith o a Goldfish Slowly an sadly we laid her doon. We rubbit her nose in butter We pit her in a sardine tin An floatit her doon the gutter Bonnie Mary o Argyle Bonnie Mary o Argyle, Sittin stride-legs ower a stile Like a tattie on the bile, Fa's the lad that gars ye smile? The Cauliflooer I wish I wis a cauliflooer. I wadna wash my lugs I'd be as lazy as I liked An blether wi the bugs Billy Billy's a scunner, he spits an he rages I've seen nicer tigers in zoos an in cages He farts an he rifts, he'll nae dae fit he's telt Bit ye'll hae tae excuse him, for Billy's a shelt! Granny's Bairn I'm gaun tae ma grunny the morn. She'll caa me her favourite quine I'll hae sweeties faniver I wint them, wi jeely, an aathin that's fine Bit I'll jist bide a day an a denner.. I'd niver laist oot for a wikk Atween jeelies, an cookies an puddens, Bi the time I ging hame I'll be seek! Easter Eggs Mhairi got a hennie's egg Rory's egg wis chocolate Ian got a widden ane Wi pentit spots upon it Pieter got a jeely egg Wi sugar at the core Evie's egg wis green an big It hatched a dinosaur!