Dionysos At Large (*)

For two months now God has walked swiftly in long strides, across this uneven, slippery terrain. At first I could still see his tall, lithe figure manage with ease, as if hovering over obstacles that made me stumble and fall behind. I was once his shadow when he moved in stately measures, frequently pausing to look over the landscape, and his dark eyes brightened and smiled as he looked back at me and his worshipful women. He is now beyond all of us. I know he is present still in a near distance because his being emits a steady illumination. It rises and hovers over hills and valleys, a shining mist which sun shafts dissolve in early afternoon into a lingering haze, and we see, feel, taste the reality of our God through day and night... When I mingle with his maenads, exhausted after hours of frantic dancing, I see the worry in their faces, and hear a few isolated moans, "Why does God abandon us in High Summer? " Even I am deprived of his true presence. He is always at large. Once, only once, I was surprised to find him leaning against a wall of granite, almost nestled within it. His face was serene, but he said nothing. Not a word of greeting or dismissal. I bowed lower than usual in his presence, and a smile flitted across his features. Then, he seemed to sink into himself, the visible deity disappearing into the invisible deity, and only the granite wall was left. When the maenads arrived, they were filled with his plenitude and felt his presence everywhere. The dancing started without a signal, wine was plentiful and we all danced through the night, into dawn light, and beyond. So now I know what exists after God disappears into nature. We exist, our worship exists, the certainty of God exists. And ecstasy is our knowing God is ever with us... Shall I keep a vigil by this stone wall, as if it were a portal for God's comings and goings? Or shall I climb above the granite to a summit from which I can see the open space in which God roams? Here on our solid earth, the light, the mist, the haze which guided us still prevail. Is that the God's only presence now? The maenads have dispersed into smaller groups, as they return to families and homes. I will never cease looking for traces of our God, longing to feel his presence in the near distance, when he returns and his worshipers gather for a new season of delight.