Re My Next Talisman

What shall I carry as my talisman now that all the previous ones have lost their magic. It just drained out of them, one by one. Sometimes a puddle of brown liquid was left behind, other times it was wisps of smoke, quite acrid, made us choke. And only once there was the smell of something sweet and light. I can't recall the details of refreshment and the leadership issue is fuzzy, but it was just heaven on earth. For a while... It's been four days - ninety-six hours without a talisman, and, listen to me, it's rough, rough. A man gets accustomed to his talisman, and it's just not possible to be bereft this long. I have a reputation to maintain, not the outer one! that's your issue, I mean what makes up the chords and fibers inside. And I am both the accused and the judge. There is no clear exit for me. So you see, right? You s-e-e... you must be vigilant, I must bebe resolute, we must be together in this... I remember - but memories won't help - still I remember a talisman from my grandmother, her simple black-bead rosary was warm when I held it. Of course, it must have been, you know, on a window ledge and the sun warmed it. It couldn't have been her touch that warmed me. Of course not. But still....