On Freedom

In a dream I'm no longer in love. I breathe deeply this sense of freedom, and I vow never again to seal myself in, but I am reminded it is myself I love also and that too is a kind of sealed condition. I am committed to taking care of my body and its home accommodations, its clothes and neat appearance that I admire in the mirror, yet I would like to know what it would be like freed of brushing my teeth, washing my neck and face and between my toes. I'd like to know, as I neglect to move my bowels, and stay away from food that could sustain my health, and do not change my underwear, and let odors rise from my crotch and armpit. I stick out my tongue at the image in the mirror showing me my ragged beard and sunken eyes and hollow cheeks, free of my self-love at last, and I sink onto the bathroom floor, feeling life begin to seep out of me, I who haven't eaten since last month. I'm dying and I'm free.