Agony Aunt

Dear agony aunt, I am in a bit of a fix My girlfriend caught me with another And I'm now in a terrible mix I've even been thumped by her brother. Dear reader, this is what you'll do You will write your girlfriend a love note And tell her she's the one for you That she is the one who floats your boat. Dear agony aunt, thanks for your advice I sent my girlfriend a love note She slapped me not once, but twice And called me a randy old goat. She told me what I could do with the note And she no longer wants me you know Then told me to go jump in the moat Because she's going to find another beau. Dear agony aunt, what now can I do? For me there can be no other I'm now left feeling sad and blue Tell me cos' you are her mother.