Indeterminate

What was it that made me so bitter Toward life and my very existence? Was it perhaps my unanswered prayers To a God who chose to keep his distance? What was it that caused this discontent, A bountiful harvest, just wasted? The grove that flowered and went to seed, While leaving the fruits of love untasted? What was it that caused these tears to flow, Was it when loneliness broke its chain, Running to me like a frightened child, And without my consent, chose to remain? What made me choose to curse the darkness Instead of rekindling the candle? Could it be I did not want to see The pain I knew my heart could not handle? What sent me running from the garden, Was it the orchard beset with rot? Was it the daisy petals I plucked That all concluded with 'He loves me not? ' What made me finally realize Nothing is what it appears to be? Was it love, pretending to be mine, That soon vanished like foam on the sea? I've abandoned foolish hopes and dreams Now that I know Fate decides our plight, Yet, if darkness had not swallowed me, Perhaps I never would have seen the light