Death Bed

Could you have lived? No, doubtless you could not Why then must you go on dying complacently Resurrected each day but hardly alive Between boiling the water, and clearing the table There you lie, quietly gasping; a fish Wondering where the ocean went; two breaths For each exhale, like you did The morning before that evening came The evening I couldn't breathe at all, because you weren't. More shocking that nothing seems to change; I walk to the bedroom; you are there as usual, Shaking your head imperceptibly, as if to say No, no improvement; only getting worse You worried about lights while still coherent Sensing the looming eternity of darkness. In the hospital, your blood pressure falling- Swooning upward, feeling my own body Begin the long, obliviating dropp away As they burst into the room with needles drawn To prevent one of us leaving; I forget which one. I stoop down to tidy some magazines; Now you are quiet, resting with eyes closed You went blind before the end came I remember once they rolled you over in bed Your eyes stayed open, as if no longer Under your volition, and it was upsetting You; who shunned lack of control, your body A rack of torture you were barely conscious of- My enduring prayer to a god I could only doubt. No longer speaking you hovered, barely there More ghost than living being; and yet could not leave- Won't leave, so now I must keep watch Over your timeless dying; unlikely angel of death The two of us indistinct in our roles Yours no longer a speaking part Mine, watching you try to die While you witness my attempts to live.