Last Minute Gifts For The Dead

I don't hold much with memorial poems for the dead- I mean, at least give them something they can really use; Like a new Styrofoam wreathe, with some hideously colored Plasticine flowers, for a start, And maybe some fertilizer, for some real Spring wildflowers. Some marble stone cleaner, to clear away that old mold. A video camera, so they can see outside again, or microphone; They can listen in to all that live weeping, over the grave. Camera footage of their one and only funeral service. A free ticket for some water from Lourdes, in hopes of a miraculous reanimation- God is always looking for new exposure opportunities, isn't he?