My Body Is A Car

If my body was a car I think that I would be trading it in, It has taken me both near and far On water, pop and gin. I have bumps and dents and scratches And the paint job I don't like or coddle, Now none of the original upholstery matches It's time I believe for a new model. The headlights are now out of focus And it's very hard to see things up close, I wish I could fix them with a hocus pocus But, instead with Visine I will take another dose. My traction isn't as graceful as it once was I now slip and slide and skip and bump, I don't know why, but it just does And it's continually heading for the dump. My whitewalls are now all stained And they all are slowly releasing air, They are now varicose veins And now everyone always will point and stare. It now takes me forever to reach my maximum speed My fuel rate burns inefficiently, No longer can I keep up or maintain the lead As I sputter and overeat quiet proficiently. And whenever I happen to sneeze My radiator then begins to leak, And also whenever I cough in the breeze My exhaust then backfires for a week. Randy L. McClave