A Victim Crying Out

I know I have a problem It stems from my youth For many years I tried to hide Not wanting to deal with truth You see in my younger years I was molested The pain he put me through He should have been arrested I know it was embarrassment That keep me from speaking But now I've reached the point Crying out, it's help I'm seeking I need to rid myself of the pain That's been locked inside for years I seem to find my own relief At night through my tears I love the quiet solitude I love to be alone When no one is around me That's when I feel most at home I know if no ones near me No one can cause me pain I've had too many years of that Too long I've played the denying game All these years I have suppressed The things that were done to me Now I know I'm paying the price In the mirror, pain is all I see I know my past is the reason My relationships have failed I know if I had spoken up Maybe that monster would be jailed But I keep the pain locked inside For only I held the key There was so much I didn't understand Confusion was controlling me But now you see the pains too much It's getting the better of me At night I am tormented The nightmares won't set me free I know that I need help For I can't take no more I'd love to get myself a gun Find him to even up the score The pain is never ending No matter what I try There are days that I wish I'd go to sleep and die 4-14-10