Staring Into The Future

Staring out the window, looking at reflections of double images staring back at me. Watching leaves shaking slightly in the night time breeze. Mindful of many joyful memories of Mom, tears fill my eyes because she is not home. Pulling my heart like salt water taffy in all directions, emotions continue to tear me apart. Tears and memories wrenching my heart away from my mind, send me into a tail spin from which I fear, will not end until I crash to the floor. No where is there a place to go - to run - to hide - to deny. Reality stands stark naked in front of me and all I want to do is die inside. Die - because I am afraid wherever I am, reality will have been there before me.