So I Ran Away

So I ran away Not knowing how hard it would be, or not caring to know You pleaded for me not to go We have something good going on I know there is a bit of ice on the surface We are under the weather But the spring will come The ice will melt And the stream of love will flow again You kept repeating again and again But in my haste I only saw my need to get away I was chocking under the weight of this love forever Needed to find the little "I" So I told you I was going to break away with the past How? In that moment of rush I did not stop to find the answer I packed my things with a pretense of false urgency Intentionally leaving the things behind That would remind me of life with you I stole a glance at your face Hoping that you would not notice my doing so I did not want to hurt you But had to brush aside every thing that would remind me of you Saying a frigid goodbye, I stole a glance again To see you standing, leaning against the door My heart was aching But I could not dare to turn and watch you crying Or so I imagined you to be doing as you look at the dust swirls of empty road We would move on Again I pretended to be strong and casual about it. Now in my room alone, with my suitcase open Why do I see you everywhere? Honey! You want some water? I hear you say as I open the door of refrigerator to get the water bottle out Standing in bathroom, brushing my teeth I hear you lodge a complain in my ear I hate this toothpaste flavor Tomorrow I would buy a new one Silently I heard myself echoing your words Changing to my nightgown, I thought This seems to be getting old; I must buy a new one I couldn't bring myself to accept that I can still feel your hands caressing me through the softness of nightgown. In my dreams I see you again and again Sitting on the bed holding the phone in your hands I hear a whisper floating over the planes of time and space A faint calling touching my heart Making me restless I wake up perspiring In the darkness of my room I tried to feel your presence by my side The phone, the chair, the gown over it, the air out side Every thing was still and shadowed by the darkness of night But I felt like passing through a storm. I have spent days wandering aimless on the streets of this strange town In a daze I walk around stores Reaching for a dress I hold my hand half way back ignoring the voice stalking me Why don't you try it honey. I drink my coffee alone in café, tormented by the screams of my heart And the deception of my wandering eyes Trying to lure somebody to join me over my table In my dreams I feel you beside me. Despite all my efforts to brush your memories aside You haven't left an inch of me. Across the mountains over the oceans You have found your way to be with me I can still feel the intensity of your love Of those sweet tender moments When we were together. The passion that you carried in your voice When you said, You are mine forever Not just tonight or tomorrow Not just in this life but life after life I would be with you no matter which corner of the world you are in I had laughed hard on your proclamations Do you really believe in life after death or reincarnation? I had asked Why not? Believing in existence beyond the state called Death like believes in the word called Hope You don't question its validity- Do you? In my desire to live for the moment I had paused only for a second to reconcile with your thoughts Now seeing you in my dreams Hearing those endless voices Coming from the corner of my heart That I never knew existed I just wonder, is there such a thing as for ever? Are we united with each other beyond our physical existence? What lies beneath the conscious moments of past and present? Was there some truth in your words? Are my dreams reflections of my desires? Or is it a solemn evidence of your love Crossing the boundaries of time and space to reach me Am I dreaming of you to clear the confused state of my mind Or is it the stream of your love flowing to its destination on its own accord? Sweet and cooling as it ever was Tonight in the darkness of my room I long for you Tonight pulled away by some magical energy The past seems to melt away in present and Melting away with it are all my doubts and my questions Alone in my room I feel like I have never been closer to you That loving you has never been so easy A dense fog lifted from my mind I want to go back to sleep Hoping to be with you The distinction between reality and imagination Has never been so blurred Dreams have never been so sweet There has never been a better place to find solace for my restless spirit.