7 Limericks In Scots

Auld Wife Fae Carnoustie There wis an auld wife fae Carnoustie Her drawers war bumshayvelt an fooshtie The dottled auld feel, bocht a pair made o steel Noo her drawers dinna guff bit they’re roosty Kirk in Dunoon There aince wis a kirk in Dunoon Fas membership dwinnlit richt doon Noo wi twice wikkly Bingo, it’s doubled, by jingo Wi a pie an a pynt served at noon Banchory Salmon A Banchory salmon wi speed Lowped a linn an crashed doon on its heid A fisher nearbye tuik it hame for a fry Though it wisna his catch it wis deid. Tamintoul stag There aince wis a frichtfu mishanter Fin a Tamintoul stag wi an antler Caused a skier tae lowp fin it powkit his dowp An he cleared the neist brae like a panther Cauld Kail Hett again A quinie fae auld Aiberdeen For her holidays gaed tae the meen There wis nocht tae be seen bit a rickle o steen ‘I can see thon at hame, ’ quo the deem Embro Festival Goer An Embro Festival Goer Fin the traffic got slower an slower In the quest for mair speed, found the wye tae succeed Wis tae gyang on a motorised mower Glesga Art Lover A Glesga Art Lover stood still Like a heron poised ower its kill Bit his jynts they aa froze as he studied a pose Till he luiked like a biro refill