Alternative Views Of Windermere

The Arctic char complain that Windermere's shrinking Since twenty millions of gallons of lake are drunk On a daily basis by the folk of Manchester At Fell Foot and Stott Park Mill A ghostly horse has been seen Galloping over the waves, neighing of danger A curmudgeonly pike recalls the halcyon days When Colonel Ridehaigh, master of the hounds Aboard his steamer, conveyed his pack to meets The wraith of John Bolton, Liverpool slave trader Laments the fact his hall is now a hotel Mrs Tiggy Winkle has been spotted, wearing her best pinnie Lurking by Ferry Nab, signing autographs for ecstatic Japanese fans Police continue to look for Martha (or Mary) One of the Ullock sisters who has disappeared Anyone sighting this missing chestnut tree Will be rewarded by media interviews and many tweets Lampreys are plotting against a roost of cormorants Who have annexed, without permission, a chantry chapel Bats over Blelham Tarn and round Pull Wyke Report a spectral legion marching down Crinkle Crags Asking each passer by the way to Rome A Hardwick sheep has lost the art of ‘heafing' It has quit the fells and is currently windsurfing