Back O Bennachie (48 Scots Poems)

1.Back o Bennachie The peesie pipes her cloudy tune Aroon the back o Bennachie Far dockens dover, yeities cheep Aa's growth, an wyvin greenery A leprechaun his cast his quilt Alang the dwaumin, Gordon howe He's happit aa in elfin green Frae sheugh, tae fairm-toun, tae knowe A hippit yowie hirples by A dauncin gleg nips at her dowp The ootraxxed finggers o an aik Drap shaddas, far the rabbits lowp The sharny kye ayont the dyke Like claikin gossips, boorich roon Hoch-heich in clover. Wabbit wives They're plottit, birsslin hett, at noon. A forest plaid o bronze fir-preens Furls saftsome ben a futterat's trail Abune green-luggit blaeberries, teet Twa lums, the hornies o a snail. Tap seelie braes, the rowans bide Their waddin blossom's fite's the snaw An reeshlin ben ilk leafy bride The bonnie, birlin, breezes blaw. The drouthy breem drinks doon the sun — Hett bummers heeze tae pree its gowd Like butteret wings, smaa hauns in prayer, Breem flooers, like yalla muirmochs showd The peesie pipes her cloudy tune Aroon the back o Bennachie Far dockens dover, yeities cheep Aa's growth, an wyvin greenery. 2.Au Claire de la Lune The halflin meen's a unicorn Wha's creamy flank't an strang An aa the starnies ben the nicht's The seed frae oot his whang. 3.Auld Brig o Dee The muckle stanes aneth the brig Are carved as smeeth's a marble font Nae sculptor's haun his chiselled ocht Since time began, the waves ayont Yon bowdie brig hae hackt an vrocht A hunner crannies, howes an neuks Far roddens reidden, wild Scots rose Protects its bairns wi scratty cleuks. Aneth the brig, auld birks, twa fauld Hap carl doddies ben the banks Abune the lave, the pine trees raxx Their rosit, roosty-coloured shanks Blaeberry, thrissle, heather, peat Thegither wyve a bonnie plaid The air, wi thyme's as scentit sweet's The posie o a Heilan maid A tryst fur burns o aa the airts Sheep-fauld o watters, yon's the Dee Waves clash thegither...foo they furl Like flags o a great company A cricket pipes her teenie tune A curlew keens abune the gean A puddock craiks at rowan's foun A yeitie yatters in the breem Wechtit wi hinney frae the hill A bummer flees wi weariet wing His hairy hurdies loadit doon Pugglit wi hairstin in the ling The herdsman, Dee, wheeps ben the muir Gars salmon rise brak-neck, an faa Booed like a bow ootower the steer The brig bides stinch abune them aa. 4. The Whigmaleerie The whigmaleerie's coorse an slee Wi een like bleezin peat He weirs a thorn buss fur hair A bawd's hin-legs fur feet His lugs are wirmy puddock-steels His neb's a grumphy's snoot His belly is a fryin pan His aims are lang an stoot His cleuks are jobby as a craws A besom is his tail An fin he blaws his tooteroo He fussles up a gale. The whigmaleerie wauks the nicht Wi warlocks, ghaists, an ghouls Plays ring-a-rosies roon the meen Syne bedds doon in the mools 5. Lament on the Mither Tongue As I gaed doon the granite toun The schule bell hished the bairns tae Lear Bit weel I kent that feint the wird 0 Scots, their Scottish lugs wad hear The tongue o Barbour, Ross, Dunbar Micht weel be Zulu. It's nae tholed In classroom claik. Sae much the waur Fin aa maun haud the Inglis mould Aince-year the moosewabs faa frae Burns Dominies dicht the hallowed buik Syne stap it back... the anely bard 0 Scotia that they daurna jouk O Hugh MacDiarmid, Soutar, Bruce, Mackie & Rorie feint a straw Frae Scottish culture, bairns are weaned The Inglis rose blaws oweraa Ye deils fa set the bairns darg Pit this in yer computer's dowp Gie's back wir sangsters, playwrichts, bards Ye arena ower heich tae cowp. 6.Moral Dilemma Buddha said, 'Respeck aa leevin breets' An sae I dae... wee collies, spurgies, troots Bit fin a forkie treetles up ma queats I'm nae sae keen on Natur's crawly geets. I'll pooshunt... ding its barns oot wi ma buits I luv aa beasts... bar ane. It gars me cowk The gollach wi its horns upon its dowp. 7. North East Nineties Rap Tweedledee telt Tweedledum Nae room for Scots in the curriculum Shakespeare, Milton, a Rodin sculpture, Great.. bit gies a smachrie o the Scottish culture Computin? Newton? Yer root-toot-tootin At wird-processin we're high-falutin Home Economics? It's a rave We're aa hum-dingers wi a microwave Dance an Drama.. here we go Reelin in a Doric video Shell-suit, trainers, T-shirt, kickers Sports bag clartit up wi trendy stickers Chinos, Levis, Pepes, Lees Project folders on the Pyrenees Hubble, bubble, the ile brings double The price o fish an wi half the trouble Crisps, coke, Wimpy, we like faist food Consumin aa the action in the neighbourhood Fae Banchory, tae Buckie, tae San Franciso We like tae pairty wi a roller-disco Nineties, pine trees, deid wi acid rain Waste-disposal dreepin doon the drain We are the friens o the Green revolution We're the generation stoppin the pollution Play fair auldies..leave some spare Save us a daud o the ozone layer. 8. Incomers Me? Glowerin at the new neebours? Since fan's it bin a crime tae dicht the windaes? Onywye, it's ye I'm fashed aboot Yer fuschias, an the girse ye sawed yestreen A sausage dug's gaen bowfin up the green. I's sweir I'll gar it claw far it's nae yoky If it as much as piddles on the rock'ry... Faith, fit a curriewurrin o a wife... An orra, strushle breet A mowser on her mou, an bauchled feet She'd better takk her shot tae shiel the snaw Or else she'll hae hett tongue and hetter lugs Lord, did ye SEE yon fooshty, chittered rugs? We'll hae tae fumigate fur fear o bugs. It's surely minks we're gettin, ower the waa Ye'll hae tae chyne the door wi'in the haa God save's, a chunty! I hinna seen the like since Willy's Aunty Wis laid up fur a month wi clottit veins... Wi filth as thick as thon, they'll choke the drains The mannie's sark tail's hingin oot an plappin He's wyvin up an doon like Charlie Chaplin He's fu's a puggie. Dinna smirk like yon! Ye needna think ye'll try HIS capers on Or else ye'll takk up ludgins in the street Noo, here's the bairns... a sorry tribe o geets Wi nae hale pair o breeks atween the lot An ilkie ane, a pecher-fu o snot Glory be. He's giein me the fingers, little deevil An yon's the thanks I hae, fur keepin ceevil! 9. Aiberdonian Recipe Takk seeds o Nor East stock (twa) Plunk them thegither Simmer fur awhile. Dinna byle (it tends tae spyle the flavour) Add ae spirk o ile A shakk o satty sea A suppie cauld snaw bree A guid Scots tongue tae gie it virr an birr A toosht o barley Fang o granite chukkies A Finnan haddie Fur nine month, let it staun... Syne, wheek it up, Skelp its dock Rowe't in a cloot Cowp it frae the pan An there ye'll hae't A fire-new Aiberdonian! 10. Fin I wis Fower an Twenty Fin I wis fower an twenty Ma luv he wis the cream An I the purrin bawdrons That supped the saucer clean Fin I wis fower an forty The cream hid soored tae bile The guff wad kill a grumphy At half a hunner mile! 11. The Gull Spikks Oot I'm here tae tell That I'm an Aiberdonian, same's yersel There's nocht sae queer as fowk. I see them Gulp their Chinee doon, syne cowk Near ilkie Setterday on Union Street We gulls are cannie far we pit wir feet Ye'll note, WE dinna argue wi wir meat An ye've the neck tae tell us that we skirl Yer soun at closin time makks ma beak dirl Wi stoun o stottin humans, wavin cans That bobbies hae tae cairt awa in vans.. 'Clear aff', sez ye, 'An dine on North Sea fish” We micht, bit they're a gey suspicious dish Fur ilkie time ye pull yer lavvie chyne Far dae ye think it's destined? Tae the brine! An tides that wash the beach, cairry awa Yer duggies doins tae the fishies mawe We're blamed fur powkin in the human midden Weel, buy a wheelie bin an keep it hidden The ither day, I met a refugee A hoodie frae the t'ither side o Huntly He sez yer pesticides gaed him sair bellies Fin powkin in remains, he'd tae weir wellies Fur fear o gettin kill't wi Chemistry Mixi, or ither hellish human bree I telt him, processed meat is as I ett It's safer, an I like ma denners hett Sae dinna rage, an cowp me aff yer lurn A gull maun hae a place tae park its bum We'd aince clean air, sea... girsse insteid o steen We're sennin a petition tae the Queen Fur humans tae be banned frae reproducin' The anely answer tae the toun's pollution! 12. The Keepsake Fin I wis wee, wi leaward lug Ma faither's Scots wis branch an bouer An ower ma bairnhood, like an aik His thochts an wirds war leaf an flouer. Far ither's een turned soor an blear On dubby park or dreepin Ben Settin their sichts on gowd, or gear Priceless, he caad the Tullich glen. Fowk's mortal reets rin strang an deep Sae at the hinmaist o his span I laid him in his last, lang sleep Near far his wardly ploys began. Beeriet the bane, bit nae the virr Langsyne it fand anither reest Gin I draw nigh tae Lochanagar A deid man's hairt lowps in ma breist. 13. Hannah the Herd 'Hish an hup'.. The kye cam hirplin up the brae The roch-staned, humphy brae, Splay-fittit. Sharny shanks Cakit wi dubs an antrin wisps o strae Prop up their tail-wheeped dowps. Their muckle girths Swey like a puckle ships, wi rowth o cargo. Ilkie wechty udder reams wi milk Spirk-spirkin doon like pearls Stottin pirls o cream at ilkie stride They wide on, hefty, nippit Atween whin an wild rose buss Ower graivel smush That hauds the flint o ice, The glint o snaw At its cauld, treacherous hairt Skyty wi weety glaur. Hannah the herd cries 'hup' The wird hings frozen Catched in wintry haar The braiths o the great quate breets She hishes uphill cannie Steam like singin kettles on the hob A dreep sypes frae the Hinner en o her snoot Her skin's a leathered cloot Roch, broon an runkled as a wizzened taed The nyaakit rodden, raxxes oot teem airms Scratty's a futterat's cleuks.. Birdless. A nettle-stob's the air That brings a lowe tae the lug Hannah, tichtens her jaiket Straichtens the hose in her wallies Gies a rug tae the bunnet Plunkit skweejee ower Her touslie, raivelled hair. She's sharger-thin an bitter bites the win Waur nur the pulpit lash on soor Sabbaths Her eens' twa brambles, floatin in a tarn That since wis passin fair Her teeth are strang an yalla as a meer's Blythe she is, a hardy, spunky gurran Wi wits as quick's a maister wyver's shears. She hishes aa her charges tae the byre Syne frae a hackit mou Ringed roon wi stounin sairs She wheeples tae them, sweet as ony lyre. 14. THE CHAIRMAN 0 THE CHILD PROTECTION PANEL I hae tae say, o aa the chiels Wha act the lay judiciary I'm far the best at reddin up The dregs o crass humanity I've rowth o siller at ma back Ma boatie's ay rowed weel I've niver kent the bite o lack Warm cled, frae heid tae heel.. Ma mither wis a mortal saint By Gad, she worshipped me! Aa weemin sud be vrocht like her Oedipus? Fa wis she? As this is nae a coort o law I 'll spikk ma mind richt plain There's nane can garr ME haud ma tongue I gie ma thochts fu rein Nae lawyer tae cry, 'Bigot, wheesht' I prosecute an judge I crack the maister's wheep betimes An niver bear a grudge! I like tae carve a pun o flesh An tae apportion blame As I've the richt tae dae, Because o my untarnished name. In wird an declamation I am VERRA dignifeed Jist speir at aa the errant sowls The fowk I've crucifeed... I'm aywis ceevil fin I poor Contempt upon their heid. Ye maun be sensitive, ye see Tae haunle this poseetion An sae I am. I niver roar Fin makkin my summation. I tell them straicht 'A mither? Ye? I doot ye cudna learn Tae rear a grumphy's littlins Let alane a tricky bairn! It's aa yer wyte yer bairn's gaen wrang Yer a patheetic sample; Gin ye wad climm perfection's spire, TAKK ME AS YER EXAMPLE! ' 15. I am a Doric Stereotype I am a Doric stereotype I sup ma meal an ale Syne wash it doon wi yirned milk An muckle dauds o kale I am a Doric stereotype I weir ma knicky tams Tae keep ma legs frae faain doon Wi jeelipfus o drams I am a Doric stereotype The horseman's wird I glean I've thrissles growin frae ma lugs An sooricks in atween. I am a Doric stereotype I keckle like a hen Wi horny hauns an sharny buits An yaavins but an ben I am a Doric stereotype Abune ma brose I rift I skirl an birl at echtsome reels An darn ma hose fur thrift. I am a Doric stereotype That thing ye'll niver meet I whyles chant Buddhist mantras An read Rene Magritte. 16. The Fish Gutter’s Sang Haud the fishie bi the gills Rug the knife alang its belly Banes are staunin up like quills Haud yer nose.. it's awfa smelly Dauds o fite, o green, o yalla Yon's the guts the scurries swalla Slivvery blobs like dauds o jeely Aa come oot the fishie's belly Hack its heid aff, an its tail Guttin on throw snaw an hail Cuts an cracks makk fingers reid Satty clooties sype wi blind Fa wad be a fisher quine Guttin herrin frae the brine? 17. Let the Records Show Born fin they'd selt the pram Intae a clan comprisin o ae dug A father, mither, granny, an a brither Fad hae raither hid a metronome insteid 'I wish they'd pit her back again, ' he said. At five I failed the IQ test fur High Wis sweir tae tell the wifie, the pig bedd in the sty An wadna coont ma nummers up tae ten Convinced she maun be glekit nae tae ken. 'How many legs has horsie? ' she speired neist I steekt ma mou, rebellion in ma breist 'No academic bent' wis her summation Sae Mile-End Schule gied me an education I liked it yonder, fin it poored wi rain The lavvies floodit an the class wun hame. On Sabbath days we traivelled tae a fairm Wir kinfolk ained. I powkit in the barn Flegged kittlins, howkit hoosies in the strae Dinged doon the stooks, caad clockers aff the lay An ilkie holiday, wir hale jing bang set furth Fur Byron kintra, an a Heilan hearth. Reared a Scot, I learned a leid an wyes the lave forgot. A halflin, aged eleeven, gey bumshayvelt Tae yon first fantoosh place o lear I traivelled Fur five lang years o weary, dreichsome trauchle Its genteel teachers tuik me fur a bauchle Lowsed at saxteen, tae Art schule, rank an roch I skippit aff, tae be the neist Van Gogh Failed ilkie dam't exam, an wi a grue Tuik T.C. trainin syne, tae jink the Broo Ochone..yon darg wis waur nur Passchendaele I'd raither stap ma heid aneth a flail Tae thole, day in, day oot, young limmers' jaw S'like haein aa yer hams, sliced wi a saw An sae I merriet. Reared a faimily Thinkin twid be the verra dab fur me We'll let yon flee stick, wummlin tae the waa There's faats aa roon at ony biggin's faa I wield ma pen. It's sootherin, yon's a fack A verse or story niver answers back. 18. The Hinmaist Wird Fin they lower the towes frae day tae the dowie dark An the warldly claes I hae, is a timmer sack Oh dinna be sweir tae cowp the clay ower me Fur its anely a pucklie banes tae the mools ye'll gie! The braith o' me'll wheeple up far the peesies cry Frae the cauld, clean braes o Coull, tae the salmon sky An the sicht o' me'll feast richt full on the lang linn's faa Far the showders o Lochnagar rise tap o' aa. Oh dinna be laith tae bid me the last fareweel Frae a warld far the weird I dreed wis a cankered dreel Fur I'll be the preen-prick frost, that flooers in the snaw The sang in the uplan burn, in the April thaw. Tint in the fir-wid's gloamin, there I'll be In the mornin dyew that glimmers frae tree tae tree An laich far the barley reeshles her gowden goun I'll be the glint in the girse at the lang rig's foun. Daith anely frichtens fowk wi gear tae ain Bit I hae naethin tae loss, an aa tae gain. 19. Original Sin Aa ower ae aipple The serpent maun crawl in the stoor An Eve, the original hoor Maun thole the stouns o Hell In bearin a bairn Adam, the puir, glekit body Fur haein a haun in the hale concern Wis pitten oot o his gairden Awa frae his bonnie flooers An luikin doon, wis affrontit Tae fin he wis nyaakit Sae happit his dockum frae sicht. Aa richt. We ken that Eve ettin the aipple Caused the hale misfittin affair. There's iist the ae thing that I'm winnerin FA PIT THE DAMNT THING THERE? 20. The Hallierackit Heilander The hallierackit Heilander is scraggy as a been Wi oxterfus o tartan plaid, steekt wi a siller preen His tam o shanter faces north, his sporran faces sooth He cowps a caber ilkie day... he's dane it frae his youth He feeds his bagpipes usqueba, they gowp it doon richt weel An yon's the wye ye NIVER see a straicht-furred eichtsome reel He rins aroon the rugged rucks, a-chasin haggis bags He's shot a thoosan midgies deid bit och, he niver brags He cracks his spunks upon his teeth, he cleans his sheen wi peat Caul kail, an oats, an dauds o deer's his daily howp o meat. Far dis the muirlan mist cam frae? The rikk frae aff his pipe! An fin it snaws, ye micht be sure He's dichtin doon his dyke. The styew flees here, the styew flees there frae Birse tae Aiberdeen There's drifts on ilkie Ben, until his winter cleanin's deen. 21. Rain-Cycle Beltane. The sappy rain Is sonsie's buds o leaf It plaps like plashy puddocks Draps umbrellas o dreeps That hett-fit lowp an daunce abune the reef. Lammas. A thunner-crack Zig-zags as bricht's a meen An aidder's back o lichtnin licks the lan The droothy yird unsteeks its mou tae sup Rain teems doon, reams doon man an muir, ram-stam. Lums an winnock-panes are drookt bi the Cowpit cup o watter frae abune That swalls the taps o toon, the troch o tup. Mairtinmas. The wechty lift Grues sair wi nip-neb wins The flooers hing deid An birdies sikk tae shift Yuletime. The Sizzens birl Furls rain tae sleet, syne snaw The warld's grown siller an fite, in the deid-thraa Feather, fur an flesh as cleekit in ae vice The steeny hairt o rain, that's jeeled tae ice. 22. The Lion Rampant 'Oh the lion is aff the flag again An reengin the countryside'... Bit fin he wun ower the Muckle Mounth He didna sikk lang tae bide! Fur aabody Furth o the Doric North Wis a bitticky antiqueerian Wi a Phd. in a Lallans key As modern as Shakespearean Hid he bin a literary breet He'd bin shipped tae cauld Siberia Gin he'd roared oot 'fa' insteid o 'Wha' The purists wad hae hysteria Oh the academe, wi its bee-bunnet theme (Weel awa frae the buts an bens) Howk wards lang deid, tae stap in a screed Nae ane in a thoosan kens. 'Ochone, ' cries the lion, 'Fit a mineer Ye've nane o ye cheenged a bit Wi yer wee cliques there, an yer wee cliques here Yer aa sae thrawn, an yer aa sae sweir That nane o ye see fur aa yer steer Scots is a spikk, nae Haly Writ.' 'The Bible's read on the Sabbath day (Or a twa, three times a year) Maist ay bi a priest or a dominie Fa's steepit his hams in lear Fin I wis young, man, the guid Scots tongue Roon Buchan, an Mar an Mearns Wis alive in the mou (Nae a screive fur a few A museum piece fur bairns) Ye'll nae unite, gin ye fleer an flyte Ower the verra banes o the spikk Faith, ilkie clan hid its ain tartan An focht fur its ain peat rikk! Like Chaiman Mao, maun we AA kow-tow In yer cultural reevolution? Maun we aa sup brose in the same size dose An takk lessons in elocution? Maun we AA weir broon, an a Lallans goun Maun we AA learn Scots frae a buikie? If yon's the plan, fur the new Scotsman He can steek it up his bihoochie! Maun AA Scots boo tae the Embro ploo? Can a spurgie cheep like a teuchit? It's the same auld meen, tho ye spell it mune Ye're a wee thing weet..We're drookit. Gin ye canna agree tae differ' (quo he) 'It's back tae ma flag I'm gaun.' An he lowpit awa, mane, virr, an claw Wi a guid corn-kister sang! 23. Yule Yule.0 a suddenty, A robin blossoms like a poppy flooer A rodden wags its airms (A timmer daddylanglegs, tiltin at the haar) Sun's wizzened ee glowers doon Deid parks haud taiglet sheep Dreich, dour an soor Birks staun Bach-broon in glaur. Far deil the birdies threep, A burnie tummles, thirled noo tae Winter Its ilkie drap, a linn. A deein rattle is the chitterin whin Time skreichs, a brukken winmill, hingin bi a threid Day rochles in the thrapple, jeels the bluid. The sabbin ocean reels an rives aneth the lift's fite mawe. Waves strive like sodjers, in the battle-thraw. Yuletide, a carlin-wife, is Wirkin her witcherie, ower ane an aa. 24. Tomnaveries (Bronze Age Circle, Coull) Ilkie fit is reeted in the yird Ilkie heid's a scaffold tae a cloud Yon circle bides unbrukken Bi thunner, drucht, Or weety, sleety rain. Ilkie steen luiks inwird Nae chink in the ayebydan, clinkit chyne Far sabbin wins makk eerie, fearie mane. Auncient an eildritch as a widda's dirge The circle croons the knowe; Weird as a warlock's forge It stauns alane. A wummlin wirm, the mist wyves ben its weft The faither-steen yokes noontime pouer o sun The mither, milky bi meenlicht, Is o aa warmth bereft. Thon twa, the muckle flankers Haive their lang shaddas far the corbies cooer Dream their derk widdendremes There is nae yett inbye...nae yett ootower The littlins' spirk o life Wis forged ower a flint altar Weirin the wechty halter 0 eternity. A birthin bed they cudna jink nur flee Preened tae bitter air That fussles winter-blawn Throw their unhaly lair The circle rears its ghaistly hull o been A tomb... or temple cast in Druid steen. 25.Onchancy Skailed satt.. A thoombfu flang in Auld Nick's ee Ower the left showder, dispatched swippertly Will some mishanter stop Cheengin the weird yell dree Dinna weir claes o green Or sure's a cat's a hairy breet Ye'll rig in murnin blaik Afore they're deen. At the new meen Niver glower ben glaiss Lest aa yer fortunes soor An turn tae aisse. At Halloween, Wauk saftly, Fur the fooshty graveyaird kists Are staunin teem. Mind, speerits canna cross a rinnin bum Efter a fearty quine, a fleggit gurin. Be cannie, fur yon watter weel micht haud The eildritch meer that bides aneth the flood Wha tries tae tryst doomed watchers frae the shore. Takk tent, an plant a rodden bi the door. Fin midnicht brings the New year tae the Auld Let nae fair-heidit first-fit ower the fauld Or twal-month o ill-favour ye micht win An niver bring inbye the flooerin whin Fur yalla breem's the feys accursed flooer Twill pyson the guidluck in ony booer. Dyod lass, ye're ugsome. First o May, rin oot An dicht the dyew o mornin ower yer snoot Tae gie yer ill-faurt face a bonnie sheen Or better still...gin a fite horse ye've seen Wish fur a fire-new physog aathegither An buy yersel a kist-fu o fite heather 26. Ma Saul an I gaed Waukin Ma saul an I gaed waukin The burnie flowed alang We gaithered rowth o ikons Tae steek intae a dwaum Ma saul an I stude newsin 'Oh haud the meen fur me An lowse the towes that tie the tides Tae her cauld tyranny' Ma saul tuik wing an left me The wheels o wirk birred roon A rose wis bit a ferlie Fin as the dwaums dinged doon The rose swalled tae a sunrise An ben a sunbeam's crack Alang the howes o fancy Ma saul cam dauncin back 27. A Drap o Bluid Faas in the Wine The bairnie at its mither's breist Bides in a bield it sune maun tyne A gorblie, cowpit frae its reest A drap o blind faas in the wine The halflin cairries at his core The mortal guff will gar him dwine A ratten chitters at his door A drap o bluid faas in the wine A lass pits on a gowden ring A may, becam a merriet quire A lintie clippit i' the wing A drap o bluid faas in the wine Sae suddent, as a glimsk o sun That teets atween the derksome pine Life's feenished e'r its scarce begun A drap o bluid faas in the wine 28. Linn o Quoich The Linn o Quoich comes rinkin doon Far chieftains pledged their bluid in wine Tae raise the clans, baith laird an loon Fur princelins o the Stewart line. An in yon lanely, curlew's airt The deidly pact concludit, syne. Aft in ma bairnhood in yon glen The bonnie burnie teemed a gill Aroon ma queats.lts watters played A tackie game, as littlins will. The waves war saft. They skelped an skirped An skailed, as loud I skirled in glee Wi shared delicht, we lowped like troots Raisin a stooshie eidently. It's forty year an mair sinsyne It catched me in its glimmrin net Tho noo I hirple, hippit, crine, The Linn's as swack's a littlin yet. 29. Hinna Gotta Hinna gotta bairnie Hinna gotta lass Hinna gotta hope 'n' Hell o Gettin ony brass Nae wirk fur young fowk Wytin in the queue Staunin wi the lay-affs Hingin roon the Broo Sez tae the cooncil 'Hae ye a hoose fur me? ' 'Come back fin yer ninety Ye'll hae priority.. If ye'd a timmer leg Or a babby in a pram Ye micht staun a chance son Gang hame tae yer mam.' Main disna wint me It's fecht, fecht, fecht Mebbe she wis young hersel In echteen-echty echt Dog-pish, hashish Aa I wint's a hame Jist grant me ae wish A place tae caa ma ain Ony kindo cubbyhole A place tae coorie doon Then ye widna hae tae thole Me dossin roon the toon. Birds hae their nesties Biggit in a tree Gerron mister Cooncil man Bigg a hoose fur me! 30. Scots Owersetts frae the Elek Buik o Oriental Verse... KOREAN YUN SON-DO (1587-1671) SANG 0 THE FIVE FIERS Foo mony fiers hae I? Coont them... Watter & stane, Bamboo an pine sae braw The risin meen on the eastern Ben Weel-lued, a frien anna. We niver strive Nae need say I Tae hae mair fiers nor five. MALAY TWA TRADITIONAL MALAY PANTUNS They weir bangles on their airms I weir bangles roon ma queats. They say, 'Dinna dae yon, ye tyke.' I dae fit I damnt weel like! Aaeech! Jobbit ma fit On a stob in the bog. Aaeech! Hurtit ma een Watchin her briests stot Unner her sark. TAMIL KIN (ORERURAVANAR) Like a deer, catched in a tinchel On the braid fite, satty shore Flayed hide turned ootside in Ye may rin, Taste freedom sweet... Bidin wi kinsmen Anely chynes the feet. TAGALOG (PHILLIPINES) Hoose-Warmin Sang Auld caimb, auld caimb, Untaigle the raivelled thochts 0 them wi'in, tae guid frae wirse As ye've whyles caimbed ma hair Fan yirdit wi dubs an girse, May they fa cross this yett Be pure in thocht May they niver differ in ocht Be smeeth's deep-rinnin watter Calm's a nicht May-vrocht Watter in the coggie Be cweel's a widlan spring Be still's an auncient Ben Be saft's the eastern win In the Simmer sizzen That they aneth this reef Be ayewis couthie an kind, An open-lugged tae rizzen Sweel oot the orra mou Keep harns free o teint Sae claik, daybrak tae gloam Bring quate content. Bleeze brichtly, licht Hansel this hoose Fleg shaddas awa That derk thochts may takk flicht Nae deave the fowk inby Sikkin a bield ahin this waa Licht the chikks, broos, heids 0 the fowk that bide herein Keep them an their bairnies' bairns Free o stramash an din. CHINESE 8 LINE SONNET HAN YU (768-824) (LATE TANG) A WIZZENT TREE Nae twig, nae leaf on the auld tree Ayont the hairm o cranreuch or o win A chiel cud wanner ben the hole in its teem wame Ettercaps wummle aneth its beilin bark Its anely ludger's a taedsteel that dees in a morn Birds veesit, nae langer, at gloamin Still yon timmer can ay fire kinnlin... Nae sikkin, as yet, tae be anely the gap at its hairt TANG YIN (1470-1523) SCREIVED FUR A PICTUR Yestreen, the gean Tint its flooers amang draps o rain The faa o petals, sae slicht, sae easy-bladdit Wis bonnie ayont aa wirds Ma dearie, waukenin early, Quit her bedroom Haudin a keekin-glaiss Tae admire her peintit chikks. She speirs, 'Fit think ye's bonnier? The petals' luiks or mine? ' An I repon, 'They win bi innocence.' At yon, her birse is up The quine winna allow Deid flooers surpass a leevin wummin Teirin a neivefu o blossom Tae haive at ma heid - 'The nicht, ma jo, ' roars she, 'Sleep wi the flooers! ' 31. OWERSETTINS FRAE 'LIGHT OF LIGHTS', AN ANTHOLOGY OF SPIRITUAL POETRY FROM THE ASHRAM OF SRI AUROBINDO, PONDICHERRY, INDIA 'Let the wee trauchled life-god inby Rive his cloots frae the still sowel His tiger-strips o guidness an coorseness His stramash & glamourie, his thole & wae'. Sri Aurobindo... 'Musa Spritus' 'Knowe efter knowe we dimmed an noo We spied the hinmaist muckle broo The towerin crag that nane hae trod Ae stride, an aa is lift, an God.' Sri Aurobindo: 'One Day the Little More'. 32. OWERSET IN SCOTS FRAE EXTRACTS IN 'PRAYER HANDBOOK 1988-ENCOUNTERS' 'Enjoy the yird doucely Enjoy the yird doucely Fur gin the yird be bladdit It canna be made hale Enjoy the yird doucely' (from a West African Yoruba poem) 'The Ian is oor mither The bluid o oor bein Oor speerit- guide, oor kin-makk Tae us, the Ian is leevin. We are a part o Ian An Ian is pairt o us.' (Australian Aborigine) JAPANESE BARDS LADY ONO NO KOMACHI (834-880) Mindin on him, I sleepit, anely tae see him Rise up afore me sae lythely Hid I kent it wis anely a dream I'd niver hae waukened sae blythely . Flooers crine, their hues dwinnle awa Ochone, life is hummlin I dree ma weird in the warld Wi the lang rain hunmlin ANONYMOUS (PRE 905) If anely, fin ye war telt Auld Age wis at haun Ye cud sneck the door wi a dyst Cry 'Nae at hame' Sae daein, jink the tryst! ZEN DEATH POEM Fower an fifty years I've strung the lift wi starns Noo I lowp throw, Aa's caad tae crockanation! Dogen JAPANESE HAIKU Owersett frae Inglis translations Strivin... Ma clachan; Kirk bell, Dragonflees Winter win. Dane, fite waas. Kito Buson Reeshlin thegither — Auld puil. Heids o barley, Lowp-splyter! Butterflee. A puddock! ... Lady Kana-Jo Buson Steadin's brunt doon. Bens o Yoshino... Noo, Drappin petals, I can see the meen! Quaffin doon the lift. Masahide Buson 33. OWERSET IN SCOTS, FRAE EXTRACTS IN 'PRAYER HANDBOOK 1988 – ENCOUNTERS' 'I wis angeret fur I hid nae sheen. Syne, I met a chiel fa hid nae feet.' (Chinese Saying) 'A caunle-licht is a protest at midnicht. It is a Wee Free. It says tae the derkness, 'Wi ye, I'll argy-bargy' Samuel Rayan, India 34. THE LEDDIE SHE RIDES JIMP N' SMA *The leddie she rides jimp n' sma Jimp n' sma, imp n' sma The leddie she rides jimp n' sma Bit the gentleman he rides Creels n' aa creels n' aa creels n' aa* The sheltie he rides weel on snaw Weel on snaw, weel on snaw The sheltie he rides weel on snaw Bit ower the dykes he disna! The shire he rides heich an braw, Heich an braw, heich an braw The shire he rides heich an braw A shilpit steed he isna! The cuddy he roared oot hee-haw Oot hee-haw, oot hee-haw The cuddy he roared oot hee-haw A clivvir breet he wisna! 35. THE HINDU & THE PANDA 'Ye wint mair savoir-faire, Jamal', they said An gied the job tae Willy Bloggs instead A peely-wally eejit, bit I gaither The chiel fa did the hirin kent his father. 'Jamal', I speired, 'Dis it nae weir ye doon Bein short-cheenged because yer colour's broon? Foo div YE view the natives o this place? ' Lauchin, quo he 'We're aa ae human race Tho some's as couthie as an anaconda. A British wifie looks fell like a panda Tae me, fin rain his blootered her mascara. Whether yer name be Smith or Macnamara If ye be under par, or deaved wi ills Ye turn as green's a puddock roon the gills Wi hair like biled tripe, or limp spaghetti As sexually invitin as a yeti... An gin yer blate, ye blush tomatae-reid Gyang grey as wattered parridge fin yer deid. Leavin aside yer spikk, claes, incidentals Ye luik the same tae me, ye occidentals. Bit fit's the odds? Gin Hindus gar ye cowk Scrat in aneth the skin, we're anely fowk Sae dinna peety me. My trials are mony Bit I've mair lives tae come... ye, hinna ony 36.MOOSIE *There wis a little moosie An it left its little hoosie An it sneakit up, an creepit up Intil the baimie's bosie* It powked its pynted nosie In the bosie warm n' cosie. An it curled up an kittled up Wi taesies reid n' rosy. The bairn let oot a skirl Gart the moosie's luggies dirl The moose did faa. It ran awa Bit thanked him fur the hurl! 36. STINKIE •Chin-chinnie, mou merry Ee winkie, broo brinkie An ower the hillies An awa tae stinkie* The stinkie is a fearsome place The hippens hap frae sicht An whyles, the bairnie skirls tae say The stinkie needs a dicht 37.THE BITIN GAME *Knock on the doorie, Teetie in Lift the sneckie Dicht the feeties An walkie in* A bairn's mou Is stappit fu Wi nesty raws o teeth An gin it nips yer fingers Ye'll be heard at Monyfeith! 38. A THISTLE LUIKS AT A DRUNK MAN A thistle luiks upon a chiel deid-drunk Aa pish an blethers... fu o fusky-spunk 'His wife will bairn nae Wallace wi yon randy Faith aa he's fit tae play is cock-a-bendy The Flooers o the Forest's wede awa Scot's patriotism's peed agin the waa' The thistle murned. 'The maist o men's aa mou Teem-tabards, T.V. tots, or ram-stam-fu.' 39. THE PUNK Ye throwither sumph. Fur aa yer wirth Ye sud hae bin drooned in a pail at birth! Ay.. turn yer back on's.. powk yer plonks Yer heid sud be doon in yer science buiks Spikkin o heids.... ye needna glower Ye'd hae gotten a snodder clip wi a mower Isn't it cauld, tae be scrapit bare 0 aa bit the stibble o fit wis hair? It's nae. It's the fashion. A croon like a neep? Fa'd hae thocht I'd hae bred a sheep? The neebours speired if the tirrivee Wis the stereo stoonin, or world war 3; The din is threatenin tae raise the reef It's a peety yer thrawn, as weel as deef. Bide ooto yer room? Stap tee yer door? Sez you, fa's rikkin frae ilkie pore 0 fags, like a squib or steamin sharn Puffin awa like a bleezin barn I've declared yer room a disaster zone. While I'm aboot it, leave the phone On the hook. The wires maun gey near melt Bi the time yer tales hiv aa bin telt. I ken that laddies pyocher an spit Bit dinna dae it far fowk maun sit! An fit's yon pictur abune yer ludo.. O fowk, bare-nyaakit, attemptin judo? Biology is it? Lord be here, It's a winner they dinna faa throw the fleet! Ye cud grow tatties aneth yon nails Is ONYTHING waur nur teenage males? Ye didna sikk tae be born, ye say? I'd hae raither hid jaunice onyday If ye'd bin on trial fae a mairket staa I'd hae taen ye hame fur a wikk or twa Taen yer measure an pit ye back Fur a tabby cat, an a Tarot pack An a crystal baa, that I micht jink Bein sib tae the likes o a teenage mink 39.SNOOT N' MOU Gritty, nutty, sheltie-broon A guff o coffee lowps the yett A furly, birly snake o rikk Twines frae the kitchie, birsslin hett Wersh in the mou, yon seerip, soor Jeelip o potion fur a hoast As nippy's ony crocodile That slidders aff the Afrik coast Draiglit wi daisies, droggt wi dyew A tapsalteerie bout o hye The cuttit girse cowpt ower the park Yoams in the sunlicht doon the ley A classroom thrang wi strang an swyte Its brods are choked wi chacky stoor Wi fooshty hose an clarty claes The air catched in yon staa, is soor Leather. A lick o linseed ile Tae swacken hide an soople threid Sae rich an roon the whiff o tan On sheen an satchel, squirrel-reid Fuskey's a thummelfu o flame Kitties the queats an fires the face Peat broon, or clear's a muirlan burn That jibbles doon, like leddy's lace Dulse is a stank o orra trock Sea-midden slivers in a broth O satt. Rank codgut sweels inby A bree o putrefeein froth Yird yarkit open bi the pleu Yields up a yoam tae skirlin gulls O Winter's daith, an Simmer's growth Far breem reets mell like shipwrecked hulls An gin I steek ma neb mang thyme (Dried nippick o a mountain's braith) The reef abune me dwines tae mist The carpet, blooms wi fern, aneth. 40. OF PHARAOHS AND SARDINES Tut-ankh-amen, heid-yin o the dunes Cairriet a veritable Tescos 0 wine, fruit, guid fite breid Doon tae the fooshtie dwellin o the deid. (Fur iver an ay yon wizzened runkled prune Embalmed loon, maun watch an enless matinee 0 hieroglyphics. Same show ilkie day) Tinned like a sprat, A deity hapt in gowd (Neither at hame in the warld Nur yet in heevin.) In pit-mirk limbo, happit in hippens Clartit wi peintit symbols o the leevin Nailed doon wioot an opener in his shroud. I've kent langtime nae pooches line a kist Nae mochie mausoleum bigg fur me Na. I'll be grist tae the mill Pickle sardines an Pharaohs gin ye will I'll gie ma braith tae cloud Ma flesh tae glaur Gang far ben wi the yird Nae Lazarus-lowps I'll makk... ye hae ma wird I'll nae flegg fearty bairns wi orra duddies Waggin been shanks wi mort-claiths teem o hurdies. 41. THE GOWFER For Charles King There's some say 'Lowp' An t'ithers, ''Foo far? ' In poleetical maitters ye maun shakk a leg Tae satisfee cooncil, constituent craiturs Feenancial dictators, ye hae tae be gleg. Publishin poetry, or heistin a bard Is as fashious an fyky as drawin the teeth Frae an ill-naturet futterat A Sisyphus darg That's muckle ill-thankit, frae Lewis tae Leith Gowf's the remeid. Ae guid skelp at the baa Doon the girse tae the green, till it's pottit an hame Fair sherpens the smeddum that's nocht tae succeed In ceevic affairs far the aim is the same Tae win yer objectives an Laurels, ye maun Gyang wallop straicht furrit, ay jinkin the san. 42. THE SHELT Wis there IVER a bairn tae heed fit it's telt? Fur the 99th time, YER NAE GETTIN A SHELT Tae prance like a laird roon a show or gymkhana I'd raither ye speired fur a snake, or pirhana. I bocht ye a rubbit. An fa redds it oot Picks the flechs frae its lugs an the dubs frae its snoot? Far war ye fin Thumper lowped ooto his pen Chased the Morrison's cat roon the lamppost an then Wi the wyle o Houdini slid unner their gate An ett their chrysanthemums doon at the rate 0 a combine in hairst, takkin aathin clean in Veggies, flooers an girse, wioot dichtin his chin? Ye roared fur a gerbil. Finiver it come It tuik aff like a rocket, an shot up the lum Fin we raikit it oot wi a poker, its tail An its fuskers war blaik as the coal in the pail It wis cairtit awa wi a terrible hoast As stiff, broon, an mochie's Methuselum's toast. Neist, ye MAUN hae a hamster. A whyle, ye war quate I deared oot its piddles. It cockit in state Ye bosied an clapt it the bigsy wee moose Syne ye drapt it. It chawed aa the wires in the hoose It connached the TV.. clean blootered the screen An drooned in the rinse o the washin machine. The goldfish ye grat fur cud lowp like a Rusky Espeecially efter ye dosed it wi fusky It lowpit sae heich tapsalteerie it fell An efter yon dunt, it wis niver itsel It lay an it chittered.. a wee, nervous beastie A shakk in its tail an a fleg in its briestie. Twa days wi the guinea-pigs aa ye'd agree Noo it skirls aa its lane, like a stikkit banshee It's wyes lavatories minky at maist Staunin up tae its oxters, in recyded waste. Bit ye maun hae a shelt. Oh, ye MAUN hae a shelt An the lave o the pets can ging flee, or be selt Sae, far wid it bide? In the greenhoose? The lobby? Gin YE hid yer wye, lady, I'd be the cuddy! 43. THE DINOSAUR A dinosaur! A dinosaur! We niver saw the like afore The beastie makks the bairnies roar Frae Sumburgh tae Singapore! A dinosaur! His muckle moo Has teeth as lang as knives, An fin he roars the tabby Losses as its seeven lives! A dinosaur! His ilkie snore Caas continents ajee, An fin he piddles lochs arise As braid's the Irish sea! A dinosaur! Fit dis he ett? A herd o coos fur tea! He sweels it doon wi a lagoon, 0 vats o barley bree! A dinosaur! His head's amang The aeroplanes an stars His legs are pylons... tail's as lang's A traffic jam o cars! A dinosaur's a fearsome breet Fin it lies doon tae claw... Bit fin it daunces... hae a care Skyscrapers stert tae faa! 44. TAKK THE BUCKLES FRAE YER SHEEN (Traditional verse, sung to Kelvin Grove) Tak the buckles frae yer sheen, bonnie lassie-oh For yer dauncin days are deen, bonnie lassie-oh Tho they say yer feet are flat Ye are nane the waur o that Takk the buckles frae yer sheen, bonnie lassie-oh 45. THE TATTIEBOGLE The tattiebogle wags his heid Derk shadda ower the yird He's hingin sterk an crucifeed The dreid o ilkie bird His jaiket pooch, a moosie hauds His kyte's a kirn o strae An ben the air his fooshty duds Gyang wallop, nicht an day The sentry o the dubby park Preened tae a timmer post Ye mind, fin Winter made its merk I sweir I heard him hoast! 46. BALLAD Oh cauld's the doonrush o a burn In Winter's iron thraa Bit caulder still's a merriege bed Fin luv his stowen awa Far niver gowden sun luiks doon Sae derk's the gairden booer Bit derker yet's the hairt o man Far skaith an sorra cooer. Oh deep's a dreich an dowie loch Far salmon niver sweems Bit deeper still's the cruel mire That smores a bairn's dreams Oh I wad don the goun sae green Wi lilies hap ma heid An like Tam Lin, the elfin knicht Step ower the burn o bluid That rins atween this eirdly warld An kingdom o the fey Far niver mortal feet may gyang Nor mortal thochts bring wae. 47. Daybrak. The storm beeriet In the snaw : frae Shiro (1742-1813) In a doon-pish in June The reef is dreepin As I gyang tae the wattery: frae Kanro Ontae the cauld san' Waves cam breengin Ooto pit-mirk : frae Aro (1879-1951) Petals skitter an faa Frae the boughs Ben the meen's physog: frae Mokkoku Tae the sun-rise abune the sea A cock craws Its braith, rikkin : frae Takeo (1908-) A drap o dyew Gaed the ant A stammygaster : frae Bosha (1900-) Snaw in the gloamin Taps at the yett The soun is saft: frae Joyo Ower the stanes Traivels the sang 0 the winter burn frae Ito Waukin forrit wi a new-cut flouer Intae the foreneen sun Barfit : frae Masao 48.OCTOBER Near Mairtimas.. the lowerin lift Is blae's the breistie o a doo That rochles in the shargeret wid Far thrissledown wauchts by like oo Crammosie, yalla, tod-reid-broon The lowsin leaves yark aff the bough Takk flicht an flee, like chitterin birds That brak frae birktaps, roon the howe. The burns rin swack, like rowth o troot Cauld, lowpin waves atween the trees October wi its burnin brand Has touched an kinnelt tae a bleeze An ilkie breet maun theek its reef An hap its heid afore the win That scythes the bracken on the brae Tummles the strae, an shakks the whin. There's lear ye dinna larn in buiks Nae leevin thing can thole blin smore Coorse Winter fuspers frae the neuks 'The warld is deein. Snib yer door.'