Nottingham Time Travellers

1.Robin Hood Jobs for men in tights? Restricted to the movies The Royal Shakespeare, or the ballet companies Perhaps a tourist guide within the city Muggers like yourself….community service Background reports…tagging and counselling That's not a falcon soaring…it's a drone To release your testosterone Try zip wiring, paragliding, shooting And archery. If you really must Is that your hound? Have you picked up its poo? 2. Sheriff of Nottingham Sorry your castle is closed for renovation Paid for by lottery funding CCTV has replaced your need for guards The WCs are very PC too Disabled, flushable, Baby changing loo With your CV, you'd make a champion bouncer.. 3.Friar Tuck Have you tried the Dancing Dragon? Halal meat? Or Jamaican cookery? Polski fare? Perhaps the Chilli Hut? A Pukka pie? A pizza? A nice kebab? Washed down with a smoothie or a cappuccino? And has your doctor checked for diabetes? 4. Maid Marian Dear lady, you should go under the knife A nip and tuck, a facelift, liposuction Colonic irrigation, breast implants? You're not the shy type, born for veil and cloister That's if you really want to keep your Robin Posh Spice and Becks of the mediaeval woods (Doing it out of doors…the wild touch) As a celebrity, the world's your oyster