Scots Poems From Ice Cream Dreams

Clootie Tree Clootie tree, clootie tree, hingin wi wishes Preened there bi fowk like a sea-fu o fishes Gie me a cat wi a wee siller bell Clootie tree, clootie tree, aa tae masel Bringin in Simmer Bring in the simmer hats, the hikin buits Bring in the midgie spray, the bottled watter Bring in the bandie nets the sleepin bags Bring in the tent, the stove, the plastic platter Bring in the sunglaisses, the sun spray lotion Bring in the deck chairs, paiddlin puils, the cloudless sky Bring in bikinis, flip flops, airm bands Bring in the ices creams, simmer's on its wey Protectrix The veil atween this mortal lan an ghaistie clouds o Heiven Is thinnest on the muckle Bens, far rowans raxx their airms A lanely rowan's staunin stinch protectin Rannoch Moor, Rowan tree protect me frae the Warld's hurts and herms The pentagram yer berry hauds will save my bairns frae skaith Yer bridal flouers as fite's the snaw, they yet haud auncient cherms The Druids used yer berries in their eildritch rituals Rowan tree protect me frae the Warld's hurts and herms We biggit on the rowan tree a bonnie birdie box A chaffie flichters oot an in, its gorblies' meat tae earn The simmer lang the rowan's filled wi cheeper's musardrie Rowan tree protect me frae the Warld's hurts and herms Interview at the Funeral Parlour Fit drew ye tae bein a receptionist fur an unnertakker? he speirs I rattle oot ma list: I'm a luver o peace an quaet I'm nae allergic tae flooers Hymn music soothes the nerves There can be lang oors jist sittin, he tells me It picks up in the winter wi the auld, Faas, hoasts an the like. We're gey busy syne Ye can knit tae pass the time, he gaes on Or read a buik, ae receptionist tuik her ironin in She did it throw the back. Nae on a coffin? I hubber, horrified Na na, he explains, thon wid spyle the varnish Hae ye mony applicants I wint tae ken I'll be honest, he admits Jobs like this aften gyaun in-hoose Wis yer da/granda/ uncle/ brither Iver a gravedigger/mortician/unnertakker? It rins in faimlies like asthma or jug lugs Na, I repon, kennin it wis a stitch up Tho I aften hae a picnic on a gravesteen. Granminnie's Kintsugi The wrunkles on granminnie's broo Wir scrattit there bi the years Lauchter lines, wrunkles o wae O widdaehood, held thegither Bi swyte, bi smeddum, bi luve Precious as ony Ming vase Haudin, as she did, The wyceness o births an daiths O kists an cradles The wrunkles on granminnie's broo Wir richer than gowd, sweet As the rings on a tree staunin stinch in the wid Jinty Jinty cam frae frae a hoose O auld parents, an aulder granparents The windaes hid timmer shutters Wechty curtains, heich cauld ceilins Fireplaces wi rikkin coals Cheena chunties an braisse geegaws Ootside waas wir studded wi brukken glaiss The cassies wir cobblit, the street Victorian Frozen in Time, like a fossil She gaed tae schule humphin a leather bag Stappit wi buiks. In her pooch, Pennies fur the Trustee Savins bank She gaed tae pianie lessons Singin lessons. Elocution lessons Ballet & Heilan dauncin Even the flooers wir auld farrant Tam Thooms. Snapdragons, reid hett pokers Gladioli, sclimmin rose, peony, lupins Thrissle, hydrangea, hinneysuckle, size Peens o glaiss grew frostit flooers inside Fin Winter grippit the street in its cauldrife jaws A bairn born late, larns lear frae hynie back Teapot Foo dae fowk nae buy teapots Wi spoots that poor oot richt? Insteid o spoots that dribble oot An flood, a teatime blicht! Ice Cream Dreams Gin I wis a park in a simmer night Reid hett, I'd gae sic dreams I'd dreak that floatin abune ma yird Wid be clouds stappt wi ice creams Butterin Up I thocht ma cousin wis an alchemist She churned cream tae butter, hauns freckled broon Usin elbuck grease, an steerin aathin roon She poored the cream inno a muckle pot Wheepin it faist till the cream itsel brakk up The butterfat's dividit frae the bree She scooped the butter inno a cheena bowl. Rinsed the butter bi poorin water in Pressed the lave o the buttermilk Oot wi a timmer speen Poored aff the watter, repeatin aa again Rinsin an squashin till the watter's clear Addit satt, oot cam twa butter pats Tae gie the butter shape, wi their ribbit sides An eftir her darg, wi a knife, see the butter glide On toast or tattie, bun, croissant or bap Gone for Good The toun is quaet, the shops are bare an rypit Fur Sale, fur sale, fur sale in ilkie windae Nyakkit, faceless mannikins lie teetle the waa Ootbye fowk pech in the heat, ahin face masks The gargoyles on Marischal college luik doon horrifeed The pandemic's passed throwe like an airmy Teemin the pooches o traders Doos an scurries scutter aroon the grun The mannikins are sichtless, In murnin fur their claes that Cheenged wi the Sizzens, Their future's the skip, Makkin wye fur the Bookies, the posters, the graffiti The mannikins winner far aa the custom's gaen Chips After Chips by the artist Lyndsey Lannie Chips, chips, sae braw on the lips Sae tasty bit sadly they widen the hips They're spicy wi sauce they're amazin wi dips They're the king o the side plate: aa ithers ootstrips Duncan Williamson Traiveller 1928- 2007 Duncan Williamson wis born Inbye a Loch Fyne bowie tent His faither wirked the tinsmith trade Vrocht baskets, learnt him aa he kent He traivelled Perthshire & Argyll He tuik a Townley quine tae wed They'd sivven bairns, an aa the while Bi wirkin hard he kept them fed His secunt wife bore twa mair bairns She studied folklore, shared his bed An saved his sangs & ballads, tales That in his family wir inbred Sae hack the kinnlin, add a log Upon the lowe o story rikk Gaither the culture o the Past Daith snaps upon yer heels ower quick Agnes Dae yowes hae personalities? Agnes dis Tho she wid raither that ye caad her Senga She stauns alane, A yowe wi smeddum Foo are there nae yowes in the Queen's Honour list? She wid like tae ken. She wid like tae be caad Dame Senga OBE, fur lang tholin the Scottish weather An pittin up wi the shepherd's choice o ram Arranged mairraige? ….He's nae the maist faithfu o sheep An low be it fuspered, an thick as a neep!