Scots Poems From Neeps An Sheeps

Ghaists o Schoolhill See Archie Simpson rollin oot his plans (The Triple Kirk aince held 3 congregations Wi bricks frae Mutton Brae, the Weaver's Shed Aa bigged wi skill by brick an granite masons) See Geordie Jamesone nummer 22 The Scottish Van Dyke trained abroad by Rubens James Dun, a rector, nummer 61 Young Byron at the Grammar learnin lessons See doon an oots outside a ludgin hoose See loadit cairts attatched tae Wirdie's cuddies Remembrancesodjers staunin at the Lion See Robert Gordon's college thrang wi ladies The monastery an kirk o the Black Friars Auld Gordon's Hospital, Art Gallery Dae monks an artists wauk in single file Wi halflins frae the Cotton factory? The Cowdray Haa- the boozers in the pub Far aince fowk prayed, they meet up eftir wirk The 30 skeletons frae the lost Friary Burkers an Noddies in the Mither Kirk Could this street spikk, fit stories wid it tell? The ghaists that flit frae grave through solid waa They dinna tribble us, their neebors noo The Triple kirk's heich spire it watches aa Granfaithers Ma singin gransire wis a fertile cheil Thoosans o seeds swam in his pyoke o sperm Thirteen hatched inno bairns bi his wadded wife An mebbe mair, an if sae, fit's the herm? Ma precentor gransire faithered three Ae loon, twaquinestae cairry on his line His granbairns wis ae loon, twa quines (ane me) Ma singin gransires' granbairns? Fiftynine! Twa Poems created from lists in the Pillow Book by Sei Shōnagon (c.966-1017) Scunnerin Ferlies A veesitor fa arrives fin yer thrang wi ither maitters A veesitor fa hauds ye up spikkin ower lang A bairn fa greets fin yer tryin tae lippen tae news A boorich o skreichin craws A tyke that bowfs fin a secret jo creeps in Ye makk on yer asleep tae ignore a caller Bit a fier shakks ye tae waukken ye Hairt Steerin Ferlies A spurgie wi gorblies. Wee bairnies playin Lichtin some fine incense Teetin inno amistit Chinese keekin glaisse Pitten on make up, braw claes, perfume Somethin rattles in the win, making on a rainy nicht Blaik kittlins wi a fite wyme Puin oot yer eebroos Watchin cuddies racin Fin a parent feels nae weel, an plague's on the go Fin a body ye hate veesits Owersetts ofower Poems bi Patrick Kavanagh Cyard's Woman I saw her amang the midden's smush Raikin fur trock Like an auld pair o sheen, or galluses She wis a young quine A cyard's woman Her physog wis strakit wi tribbles Like weers ben it Bit she wis swack As a young goat On a winny knowe She raiked ben the midden's smush Hyterin cannily Ower tinnies An sherp-brukken Denner ashets Yule Yule, somebody telt me, is near on us An luikin oot ma windae I saw that Winter hid laundit Alang wi the grey shawl an the nyaakit tree sonnet A scroll o bark hingin doon tae the knees as he scanned it The graivel in the yaird wis thochtfu, roosed tae be crunched As fowk wi tribbles in their physogs drave in wi cars Bit masel, wi sic solemnity aroon me, refused tae be hunkered in In fack wis like tae gie the hee-haw tae bars Aye there wir ferlies in thon winter comin that gart me Feel younger, less o a failure, it wis raelly earlier Than mony fowk thocht- there wis the chaunce Fur luv, fur Sooth African adventure, fur faitherin a bairn Fur takkin masel in haun, catchin on wioot a fleg or Takkin pairt in a warld war, jynin up at the stert o hostilities Cam Daunce wi Kitty Stoblin Na, na, na, I kent I wisnae byordnar as I meeved Ben the colourful kintra, I wis bit a single Bittie o the pictur, the namer, nae the dearie. O scunnerin cheilfa nae gods takk tent o Brawness, fa his pictured bonnieness? Langsyne I'd a myth that wis bit a lee bit it served: Trees waukin ower the taps o knowes an ma rhyme Caperin on mile-heich stilts an the unnerved Boorichs luikin up wi terror in their regional physogs O daunce wi Kitty Stoblin I outrageously Cried oot-o-sense tae them, while their frichtit paces Hytered ahin Jove's page loon pagin me I'd an unca pleisunt trip, thank ye kindly Fur giein me ma gyteness back, or nearly Myndin on ma Mither I dinna think o ye lyin in the weet yird O a Monaghan kirkyaird; I see Ye waukin doon a lane amang the poplars On yer wey tae the station, or blithely Gaun tae secunt mass on a simmer Sabbath Ye meet me an say ‘Dinna forget tae see aboot the kye'- Amang yer yirdiest wirds the angel dauchles An I think o ye waukin alang a heidlan O green aets in June Sae fu o peace, sae fu o life An I see us trystin at the eyn o a toon On a fair day bi mistak, eftir The bargains are aa brocht an we can wauk Thegither, ben the shops, an stalls an marts Free in the oriental streets o thocht O ye arena lyin in the weet yird Fur it's a hairst gloamin noo an we Are biggin up the rucks agin the meenlicht An ye smile up at us- aybydan-like Giant Angus Giant Angus MacAskill Wis born in Berneray 7 fit 9 inches tall in heicht The winner o his day He liftit anchors up wi ease He trod trees inno smush An fin he peed the trooties thocht There wis a hurlygush Pinkerton Pinkerton wis Gorbals born At sleuthin he wis skeely He sniffed oot gangs an locked them up A true-bred Glesga keelie The Braidhill Mynds on its Veesitors I mynd the day in echteen thirty twa Upon ma summit Union flags did blaw The Great Reform Act tae shaw support Banners an streamers flew frae masts in port Musicians gaithered thrang in neuk an wynd Syne bands struck up an merchers wauked in line Fowk poored intae the toon bi shelt an cairt Far thieves an pickpockets made nesty sport Blacksmiths, an flax dressers, some threid lappers Sawyers, wyvers, founders, paper makkers Engineers an bleachers, cairriers, tanners Shipvrichts, tobaccay spinners an towe twiners A hunner cairters rode tae the drum beat As forty thoosan marched ben Union Street Tae tune o ‘Scots Wha Hae wi Wallace bled' The skirlin pipes some mair excitement spread Aa heidin tae ma braes tae hear men spikk On Justice, wi the fury o Auld Nick Ower the centuries ma girssy banks Let hoors wi pick ups bare their plooky flanks Stravaigers wauked their dugs tae takk the air Watched whalin ships sail by wi catches rare Here, littlins rowed their Pace eggs lauchin lood An scurriessnatched their breid tae feed their brood Bit best ava, the circus cam tae toon Their breets'menagerie parked at ma foun Puggie an selkie, elephant an shelt The reid nebbed clowns, the bear wi shaggy pelt There wir nae skyscrapers tae block ma sicht I've seen it aa, plague, squibs on Bonfire Nicht The ballroom far the toonsfowk waltzed an jived The Carnies far the show fowkfaimlies thrived I've watched fin witches birssled in daith's thraas An convicts swung frae gibbets like deid craaas I am the Braidhill, heich, impartial Could ma steens spikk, fit stories they wid tell! Braas Ultomo bras bi Michelle Mone Gie Scottishbreists a heeze Especially auld an wrinkled anes That hing doon tae fowk's knees Midgies Midgies I hate ye Ye wee fleein scunners Ye chase me an sook me Nae singly, bit hunners I've tried weirin creams I've worn Burkha-like nets I've tried scooshin pyson I've tried watter jets I wish ye'd flee doon Tae the Deil's fiery regions Tae birssle an sizzle Ye dampt hellish legions Freshwatter Pearl Mussels Freshwatter pearl mussels are boskers Cleanin watter tae keep orrals oot Sae helpin the health o the planet An the growth o baith salmon an troot Wattie Scott Fin Wattie Scott the novelist deed His wake wis lood wi wails He screived awa frae morn tae night An muckle wir his sales IRN BRU, IRN BRU IRN BRU, IRN BRU Beats Eton Mess an Irish stew It's ginger heaven in yer mou IRN BRU, drink some richt noo! James Miranda Berry James Miranda Berry A byordnar dandy an flirt On daith wis revealed tae be female Weirin troosers insteid o a skirt The Hairt o Midlothian The Hairt o Midlothian's ootbye St Giles Fin ye staun on it hocher an spit (Jist forluck, it is said As here chauncers were led Tae be hung on this verra same bit) The Scottish Alphabet A fur aiblich B fur bosker C fur contermascious D fur dowie E fur eilritch F fur unca fascious G fur gorblie H fur hotterel I fur clear insicht J fur jinkin K fur kittlin L fur leerielicht M fur mowdie N fur nochtie O fur oo an ootlinn P fur plowter Q fur quinie R fur rugg, fur rivin S fur sottar T fur trauchle U fur ugsome, uptakk V fur vauntie W fur winnock X in aixe an raxx Y fur yalla,Z fur zebra Drawn frae Scots wird sacks! Birlinn Langsyne Heilan fowk used a birlinn (A boat like the Norse ained fur hurlin Them ower the faem) . Noo,a publisher's name That's set umpteen new buik screivers earnin Ecclefechan Tarts Ecclefechan tarts are funcy Ecclefechan tarts are braw Pastry melled wi fruit an nuts They are Paradise tae chaw The Encyclopaedia Britannica The Encyclopaedia Britannica Wis published in Embro Toun Gin ye fancy a bittie licht readin Aince liftit ye'll nae pit it doon