The Tiger O Trincomalee (30 Scots Poems)

1.The Tiger o Trincomalee The tiger o Trincomalee Took a day trip tae bonnie Dundee There wis naethin bit cakes An a plate o hame bakes Sae he ett up the Broons fur his tea. 2.Keekin Glaiss I am a keekin glaiss. A queen aince fulled me Pearls on her broo, her warm braith saft on ma face A rich grey haar I keep her memory bricht Nae ither face transformed me like thon quine I niver saw her at the hinner-eyn The flame turned aisse The luv-bow o the mou In a deid-line. The Bruce's hairt focht on, its maister deid. I think hers beats in France, That bred her in the wyes o sang an daunce. Her tummlit hair, a flame, wi French perfume 3.The Gorilla fae Rwanda I'm a gorilla fae Rwanda My closest frien is a Chinese Panda We sit at the fire an toast oor fronts The Panda gurrs, bit I jist grunts 4.Rainy Oot Twis rainin leaves on Friday The puddles on the grun War reid an bronze an gowden An yalla cadmium A lake o orange ochre Wis lyin in the park The beech tree stood an chattered In his torn an holey sark 5.The Childe of Hale The Childe of Hale, John Middleton, (1578-1623) was nine feet three inches in height. His portrait hangs in Spekehall in Lancashire. It was said that when he slept in his tiny cottage his feet protruded from the window. The Childe o Hale cud niver luik his neebors in the ee An that's because, as big's a whale, the Childe wis nine fit three Sae his description o them aa wad differ, far, frae yours His view o fowk wis similar tae bees amang the flooers.. Sae Mr Smith wis Yalla-Thatch, an Mrs Smith wis Curly While Maister Smith wis Hurcheon-Prods an Baby Smith wis Hudderie. Auld Baldy-Croon wis Mr Broon, his wife wis Lowpin-Bugs, Their dother Nell wis Carrot-Tap, their loon wis Muckle-Lugs. Sir Wilkie Tosh wis Wyndy-Stripes. His cook wis Touzlie-Tyke, Her ringlets luiked as if she'd slept aa nicht ahin the dyke. Ye'd ken richt aff fa hid a hoast... their neb micht hae a drap Bit aa John iver saw o fowk wis ae wee bit on tap. He hid the cleanest pair o feet, weel-washed bi storm an gale Fin he lay doon they left the hoose, lang shanks o Childe o Hale 6.Percy Puddock Puddock oot wi Minnie Moose Ye've cowped aa yer orange juice Ower her scarlet satin goun Percy, lowpin up an doon Ye should sook ooto a straa Percy Puddock... Oo la la. Dis the can-can, canna stop See him dae the Puddock Bop! 7.Merrvmatanzie Merrymatanzie an her cat Jean Makk the magic fur Halloween They blaiken the shaddas an feed the dugs A hotter o puddocks an hotchin bugs Syne like a supersonic bat Aince roon Saturn an twice roon Mars Aa nicht lang flee the witch an cat Back they come wi a pooch o stars Merrymatanzie, faist's can be Merrymatanzie...wyte fur me! 8.Tattiebogle on the Brae Tattiebogle on the brae Fleggin aa the craas awa Tattiebogle wag yer airms Fin the breengin breezes blaw Tattiebogle dinna fash Daytime will turn intae nicht Ye can steek yer een an rest In aneth the caul meenlicht 9.North East Toun Stars skinkle ower a parkin lot Hubcaps an bonnets shine wi frost Like mowdies, weariet shoppers skail Oot frae the mall, bood doon bi cost 0 stappin stammaches, heatin hames... Twa bats gae flichterin fae the trees Raggety cloots o hungered wames Ice surfs the waves. Black spires luik doon Icicle kirks in this cauld toun An hoasts hack deeper in the briest 0 fowk fa thole the cauld the least... Slipt somehou frae the shelterin goun 0 him fa wore the thorny croun. 10.Dental Crisis. There are nae pooches in yer shroud, sae leave yer wealth, or spend it. Nae corp can borra, beg, nor buy, can gie ye gowd or lend it. Noo John McTavish wis a chiel weel noted fur his thrift Sae fin his doctor sat him doon an said he sune wad shift Frae this auld warld an as its cares, he sortit oot his gear, His siller, plenishin an hoose, afore the eyn drew near. He left his shares tae his son Dod, his car, tae dother Jean, His TV tae his cousin Jock. His fridge tae neebor Dean, Syne lat him doon tae wyte the chap o the Grim Reaper Daith... ` 'Takk oot yer teeth, the nurse cajoled, 'I think t'wid ease yer braith.' Noo John hid pyed a twa months' wage wi gowd tae cap his mou A set o shinin molars bricht's the starnies in the Ploo `My faimly's bin accoontit fur...bit fa can I bequeath My brand new gowden grinder-doons...ma echteen carat teeth? ' He speired, as Daith steppt up tae wheech awa tae Kingdome-Come The finest bit o dentistry tae iver grace a gum! 11.Midnicht Midnicht. The bedroom. Fit's that soun? Ootbye the trees are sweeshlin Ower in a neuk a shadda meeves Throw auld bin papers reeshlin Far dis it come frae? Far's it gaun, Ghaist-like through the derkenin hoose? It lowps! It's here! It's on the rug It's Benjy Baxter's moose! 12.Dyeuk Its heid aneth its oxter, The dyeukie's faist asleep Bobbin on the mill puil Far seggs gyang dreepy dreep Fit dae dyeukies dream o Showdin on the breeze? Dae they think they're galleons Sailin ower the seas? Dae they think they're shelties On a Carousel? Dyeukies keep the secret Dyeukies dinna tell. 13.The Fiddle Wisna a Success The cat hid fiddlit the buiks Nae cloud hid a siller linin The show wis a pantomime Aa the coorse pennies turned up The dish ran awa wi the speen The dug ett King Cole's music 14.Taedsteel Taedsteel in the gairden Spottit reid an neat Keepin snailies' hoosies Frae gettin sypin weet Fit a braw umbrella Jist the perfect size Fur a horny gollach Tae shelter till she dries 15.Vegan's Anatomy Lesson Inside ma heid there's a mushroom A doctor wad caa it a brain It's poorin oot thochts bi the meenit An maist o them gyang doon the drain At the back o ma neb twa tomataes Sook air oot an in frae the vine 0 ma air pipe. A sonsie reid straaberry 0 a hairt pumps oot bluid aa the time Ma stammache's a kirn o spaghetti Ma bladder's a melon half-teem Ma wyme is a gourd past its sell-by The anatomy lesson is dane Except tae say aathin's organic Nae an implant... ma body is pure Apairt frae a cap an twa dentures I'm free reenge as a daud o manure 16.Three Kings Cam Frae Their Native Lan Tune: Ye Banks an Braes o Bonnie Doon Three kings cam frae their native lan Ower ocean, desert, steen an san Rare gifts tae bring on Xmas day Tae Jesus happit in the strae Chorus: A starnie lets its licht doonfaa Stood guaird abeen yon stirkie's staa Sae sodjer, fairmer, aa micht ken That God's ain bairn wis born tae men. Three shepherds tae the byre stepped in Tae boo afore the New Littlin As breets an birdies gaithered roon An by yon cradle cooried doon, Chorus: A starnie etc Noo ilkie year at Xmas time We jyne oor hauns tae pray an myne On Jesus born sae pure, sae smaa Cam doon tae save an lue us aa. Chorus: A starnie 17.Speecial Ks Ma steel bracelet's a Kara Ma steel sword's a Kirpan Ma wid caimb is a Kangha I'm brave as Desperate Dan My unnerpants are kent as Kacch Ma uncut hair is Kesh I takk ma baby sister Each morning tae the creche An rin tae stert ma lessons Sae I'll get on in life I am a Sikh fae Angus My granda comes fae Fife Great granny's fae the Punjab Singh is oor name. We brag Translatit it means lion Jist like the Scottish flag! 18.Christmas Chap the tatties, bree the neeps, Gie the broth a steer. Dicht the bairnie's faces, Christmas denner's here! Clootie dumpling in the pan, Hotterin up an doon, Fairy lichts ging plunk again, Haun the tangies roon. Birssled bubbly jock fur wikks, Halfins scalin beer, Balloons that winna bide up Tatties on the fleer Faither squar-eed watchin sport, Littlins wint cartoons. They've riven oot the aerial Fa inventit loons! Santa left a heeze o gifts Frae his muckle sack. Karen disna like her toys He can hae them back. 19.The Hindu Quine Some worship the Lord Krishna Some worship Hanuman Some offer praise tae Ganesh, Hauf elephant, hauf man The warld caas us Hindus Oor faith's fae Hindustan An fin I'm tae be merriet I'll weir a sari bricht Wi henna peintit hauns an feet Aa fur ma bridal nicht There micht be sitars strummin There micht be bass guitars Fur I belang tae Glesga Nae elephants bit cars Will hurl us tae the hinneymeen A wikkeyn up the Clyde The proodest bride in Sauchiehaa Wi Sanjay bi ma side. 20.Bairnie Jesus Tune: Ally Bally Bairnie Jesus born fur me Hear this sang in praise o ye Jist like the fowk o Galilee I praise ye in yer glory. Daunlit on yer mammy's knee Bairnie Jesus pure an wee On Xmas day this sang I gie Tae tell o the auld, auld, story. Luv cam tae the warld yon night The starns shone oot wi aa their micht That fowk aroon could see the sight 0 the bairn in the Xmas story We canna gie ye gifties gran Myrrh or gowd frae a furreign lan Bit we hae a sang, sae weel we can Sing oot tae spread yer glory. 21.Shine on the Warld Ye Lue Tune: I see the moon, the moon sees me I see the starnie, the starnie wee It shone langsyne on the Christ bairnie Oh, micht the starns that shone on ye Shine on the warld ye lue. Chorus: Shine on the puir fowk Shine on the sair Shine on the hurtit Gie them yer care Takk tent o us forivermair Here, in the warld ye lue. I see the robin's breast sae reid Ye fin a place fur his gangrel heid Smaa tho he be, ye ken his need Here, in the warld ye lue. Chorus: Shine etc I see the sna, sae caul, caul, caul, Rowed roon the toon like a big fate shawl I ken yer warmth cheers young an aul, Here in the warld ye lue Chorus: Shine etc 22.Muhammad Whyle minarets an muezzins in the sky Caa fowk tae pray tae Allah in Dubai My mosque is at the Spital, Aiberdeen The anely cries are seagulls ower cauld steen Here as a Muslim I learn the Qu'ran An keep the haly fast o Ramadan Ma sister haps her heid in the Hijaab A modest custom. Aa meat on a slab Trysts predators like flees aroon a plate An vanity's a trait we dinna rate. 23.Santa's comin doon the Lum Tune: Here We Go Round the Mulberry Bush Santa's climmin doon the lum x3 On a caal an frosty mornin Sna is birlin roon an roon x3 Dunt her feet tae warm yer taes x3 Clap yer hans tae keep them hett x3 Shakk the snaaflakes frae yer heid x3 24.Mistletoe Dinna staun bi the mistletoe Wi Dean MacPhail or Watty Dean's got plooks an a scabby mou. An a mowser broon an scratty Fa'd kiss Watty? Aabody kens He's a neb like a bubbly jock Ye cud grow ten tatties in each lug He's a face like a skelpit dock 25.The Robin Sang Tune: Chick-chick-chicken Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin Stottin up n' doon sae reid Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin Wid ye like a daud o breid? Fur ye michtna get a crumb till Xmas Nae even a shakk o seed Sae rob-rob-rob-rob-robin Wid ye like a daud o breid? Rob-rob-rob-robin, Wid ye like a drap tae drink? Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin Cause the pond's like a skatin rink An the icicles are jigglin An it's caaler than ye think Oh, rob-rob, rob-rob, robin Wid ye like a drap tae drink? Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin, Wid ye like a crust or twa? Rob-rob-rob-rob-robin Wi yer feathers broon an braw? Fur the sky is caal an wintry An I think it's gaun tae snaw Oh rob-rob-rob-rob-robin Wid ye like a crust or twa? 26.Dragons Dragons lowp, dragons daunce Daniel Chong is ma name Dragons lowp, dragons daunce My New Year is nae the same As ither Scots fowk doon oor street Different rhythm, different beat Dragons lowp, dragons daunce Daniel Chong is ma name Dragons lowp, dragons daunce Embro toun is ma hame 27.Ancient ASBOs (Anti-Social Behaviour Orders) Ye mauna steal. Ye mauna kill Bide faithfu tae the spouse ye tuik Ye mauna lee, Nur yer heid fill Wi jealousy Keep wrang thochts in their neuk Respeck yer fowk...an in thon six Commandments frae oor Auncient Buik Are aa the laws ye need tae fix The warld, frae Cairo tae Carluke These I hae learned. I am a Jew At thirteen I'll become a man At ma Bar Mitzvah, tho I bide Hyne aff frae Israel's Haly Lan. At Hannukkah, I'll licht the lamps Tae myne past warssles in the san An I play fitba in the lane Whyle hingin oot wi Neil an Shane We stot the baa roon Kelvinside We are a team. There's nae divide They dinna care fit faith I hae Nor foo, nor far, nor fan I pray They like me fur masel, ye see An gie nae place tae bigotry. 28.Nativity The angel secunt frae the left has piddlit on the fleer The shepherd's chitterin...nae wi cauld, The hale schule faimly's here. Fin ye hae got a starrin role in the Nativity It's winnerfu...till yer on stage An ye are anely three. 29.The Quaet Kind Whyles we chant, whyles we dinna Whyles we'll pray. Whyles we winna We are Scottish Buddhists. At hame we meditate Wi caunle, incense, flooer We'll sit a quaet oor We are Scottish Buddhists Aa life we venerate The Buddha's birth in May We class a happy day We are Scottish Buddhists An Wesak celebrate. 30.Blythe Yule Tune: The Cock o the North/Auntie Mary The holly green hings in the haa The robin reidbreist sings Roon aabody's waa baith great an sma Wag Xmas cairds on strings Chorus: Gweed cheer gweed cheer Fur Yule is here May naebody's plate be teem Makk aathin braw in hoose an haa Pit on yer dauncin sheen. There's caunles bricht tae gie us Licht The fire is hett in the lum There's Xmas pies, an aabody buys A pudden that's made o plum Chorus: Gweed cheer etc Pit on yer claes an shoogle yer taes An caimb yer touzlie hair Fur noo's the day we skreich Hooray The rarest day o the Year! Chorus: Gweed cheer etc There's pantomimes, there's Xmas chimes There's crackers o gowd tae pu An if yer giftie we've forgot Here's Seasons' Greetins noo!