Cutting

I You think that I am an Emo guy with seventeen tattoos on my body and an association with some cult that performs weird rituals and summons Satan for a supernatural rendevous I wear only black and listen to indie bands that no one has ever heard the name of, and for you it's just a fetish of mine - to cut - take a razor and cut my body's skin here and there to let out some blood - For you, It's a way for me to be cool, To be a non-confirmist - live outside the boundaries of the social circle that YOU NORMAL people make You call yourselves normal, as if You and I have so many differences But do you not, like me, have same organs - like the heart - that pumps blood in our bodies - us - humans. I cut and you don't - that's why you are normal folks and I am abnormal But do you ever dare to stare long into my eyes and find the deep, dark abyss of pain and scars that I am? II You think that I might have been raped, had an abortion, or had done something that good girls don't since you saw the Ambulance rush with me in it at three in the morning or night or whatever - And you are Goddamned angry on me for ruining your good night's sleep while I had been an insomniac for four years. I always wear full sleeve shirts and Tees, even when the lead hits forty, I do it to hide my scars - the ones that I have all over my body - not only my wrists... You think that I'm weird, a freak, since I have no friends and never talk or smile, yet wear a lot of kajal and always keep my head low... What you don't know that there are nights when my blood feels like boiling lead melting my veins and burning my heart - I feel like a monster - a masochist, some of you educated folks might say - and at those times I cut to let that boiling lead mixed up with ridiculous substances run out of my body, To purge myself. Yes, I'm a screwed up lunatic as you say, But there's no moon in my life that can lighten up the dark hole that I live in, The dark hole that I am... III We are the cutters, We cut ourselves to harm us, Because it's in harm that we find relief A moment of tremendous pain and a threat to our lives - a risk, a rush, adrenaline, The compulsive action worth taking, again and again. And although like Sisyphus it takes us nowhere it somehow gives us a few moment to breathe in the fresh red air of life, while for the rest Our life's each moment is toiled away fighting with a predator that's inside Us - We are the predator - We are its prey - We are Pain, Agony, Struggle for Existence in camouflage Personified There's no happiness in our lives, but no sadness either, We are a strange ocean, with a stagnant surface and a whirlpool inside... There are no mermaids in there, Only a creature that is a crossbreed Between a sea horse and a wild hyena, You'll never be strong enough to hold that creature in yourself like we do... We don't need your sympathy, We certainly don't need your judgement All we need is love, acceptance, compassion and empathy - That's all we need, If not that, give us nothing.