Getting Thru'

We are experiencing a high volume Of calls today. You are at queue position ONE. Oh, goodie! Please hold and one of our representatives Will contact you shortly.. Vivaldi Springs into Life.. Da..da.. da.. etc We are experiencing a high volume Of calls today. You are at queue position ONE. Please hold and one of our representatives Will contact you shortly.. We know you are waiting and alopogize For the delay.. Oh Goodie! More Vivaldi.. da da da.. Good morning. Please select one of the following thirty options.. Press one if you wish to speak To our representative in person as soon as she has finished her toilet break. Press two.. if you wish to complain to our non-existent Customer Services Department.. I slam phone down in a state of collapse!