Gleanings From The Cutting Room Floor Liquids

PART ONE MEDICAL EMERGENCIES ACIDS "Oh, dear, doctor, I've given him H2SO4, not H2O, " nurse cried hotly. "That'll sure clear his throat! " doctor replied acidly. The patient screamed "It hurts"... somewhat impatiently. "Now, now, you'll be all right, " nurse lied... somewhat implausibly. Sadly the guy died... and rather fatally. BLOOD "Now, where's the bleeding, sir? " the Doctor asked quite sanguinely. "You know, my bleeding nose, " the patient cried. "Ah, yes, " I see, " the nurse observed nosily and knowingly. SALT SOLUTION "Give him a Saline drip, " the doctor ordered saltily. "Which lady? " asked nurse. "No, leave that witch till later, " he answered hazily. INJECTIONS "Left posterior, nurse.. Left! " Doctor instructed cheekily. "Not right, left, you clown, " he roared directionally. "Oh, sorry, Doc, I only know port and starboard, " she apologized navigationally. "Oi, I ain't no pin cushion, " the patient cried, getting the needle quite sharply.