Poltergeists On The Move

If I became a ghost I think I'd be a poltergeist Playing silly jokes. I've had some practice. Once a friend of ours Persisted in leaving her house unlocked. Despite my wife's persuasive powers. One day we passed her pad And noticing her car not there We had A smart idea to stage a sudden raid. "Back door's open, " my good lady said. So in we crept like crafty housebreakers. I lit a large cigar and smoked a bit As she moved furniture around And washed some pots As our friend was in the habit Of letting dust pile up upon her plates. I stubbed out my cigar and let it rest Upon an ashtray full of old cork tips And changed the angles of a photograph or two. "That will do, " we said as we admired our works And quickly exited like a couple of real jerks. The upshot of it was she figure out in minutes Who'd been in her house. Amazing... innit? She knew us well and wise to our last prank She whizzed around and to be quite frank Told us we were useless poltergeists. And then she laughed so much She nearly split her tights. And yet our silly efforts weren't in vain. She never left her house unlocked again!