If You Find Me
U Uriah Hamilton
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I live day by day
Through whispered prayers at dawn
Seeing flowers still growing
In the yards of abandoned homes
As hopeful witness
To a day of revitalization
The life I seek is peaceful
Like a child's book in a little room;
But one has to put his back
Into the struggle to make the world a better place.
Of all the souls I've known,
I only regret the ones
I didn't make feel at ease
In an hour of friendship.
When I'm old,
I'll be lonelier than now
And thus may forgo the aging process.
Men and women should be happy
In the presence of each other,
But I've only seen the hardship of failed love
And less than honorable desires
And must acknowledge my failings
As a human being seeking higher evolution.
I can't roll back time
To erase my mistakes,
And there are people
I can no longer apologize to
As a result of the grave
Or simply the death of our relationship.
Slowly I accept myself
As deformed and fragile beauty
While carrying a bouquet of lovely thoughts
In the crystal vase of my mind.
I'm into votive candles, holy books,
And listening to music at midnight
With the lights out waiting for sacred words
To wash over me like a cleansing rain.
I'm often dark
But only toward myself;
Everyone else, I seek their best with kind wishes.
I've fallen in love at bookstores,
But I mostly read online now in an empty place;
If you find me someday,
I'm willing to try to make things work out
The way you think they should.
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