The Train To Hell

I caught the train to Hell today A dark and bumpy ride So many souls were huddled there Full packed it was inside With men and women, children too, It was a great surprise So many people that I knew Were set before my eyes The train, it trundled `long the track All screeching at a pace No way was there to send it back `Twas writ` on every face Their misdemeanours were all marked Wrapped up and fully bagged By Hell`s own wardens they were kept And prop`ly neatly tagged: Old Freddie boy who shot his wife 'Because she gave me so much strife' And little Johnny (heard his cries) Because he plucked the wings off flies O then there was that sad old dame Who spent her whole life on the game Old Joshua, without remorse, Had cru`lly battered his old horse With head in hands, a guy called Frank Had meanly robbed a village bank And then a pensioner he mugged Because, he said, that he was drugged And then there`s me, O such a crime, I wrote a verse that didn`t rhyme And furthermore, I don`t see fit, The rest of it I should admit Clickety-click along the lines Still puffing out its steam That poor old train came to a halt Thank God, `twas just a dream! !