A Matter Of Knack

Jock M'Pherson was a person who was boastful in conversin', But respectable and ponderous and dignified withal! Con M'Carty was a party who was something of a smarty, And beside the big M'Pherson looked particularly small; But Cornelius M'Carty, he was artful, after all! When Cornelius M'Carty thought M'Pherson was his dart, he Made a wager he could carry him a mile along the track; Which, considering M'Pherson was a very weighty person, Was a risky undertaking for M'Carty's little back. But Cornelius protested it depended on the knack! "Take yer coat off!" called M'Carty, and M'Pherson gave a start, he Hadn't bargained for proceedings the reverse of dignified! But he felt he had the best of the arrangement. "Take yer vest off!" Said M'Carty; and M'Pherson very graciously complied. It was in the private parlor, and the crowd was all outside. "Take yer boots off!" said M'Carty in a cheerful tone and hearty, But M'Pherson he objected that the crowd would see his toes. Said M'Carty, "See, M'Pherson, there ain't any sense in cursin', Take yer boots off, I don't reckon to be handicapped with those! I am not the sort of juggins you apparently suppose!" This M'Pherson's wrath arouses. "But," said he, "I'll keep me trousers!" "Not a trouser!" said M'Carty, "or to me the wager goes. The conditions you're reversin'; I will carry you, M'Pherson, But the wager doesn't say a blessed word about yer clothes!" That was how the small M'Carty had M'Pherson by the nose!