Dimitri's Soul

I saw my soul on one occasion. It occurred early on a late summer day, when the foliage makes its sincerest efforts to appear green and healthy. I had no such pretense in me, that's why people loved me. I embraced everyone with bear hug equally, then asked for a handout, to secure the blessings of the Holy Mother. But my sole concern was the blessings and curses of vodka! I sat apart from the other villagers, climbed up a steep hill, breathless but alone. There I could see the village while, and didn't have to greet anyone. Just me and my bottle of vodka. So that late morning I was ricking back and forth in a stupor. I sprawled on the grass, laughed into the sun, and my head was fastened to my neck by a tiny thread of blood. I could fall into pieces at any moment. Suddenly, a shiver went through me, head to toe. I pulled my great coat tightly against my chest. Then a shudder convulsed me, and my legs shot out, kicking violently. Then just as suddenly my body stiffened, it was rigid, frozen in place. IS THIS THE END OF DIMITRI? HOLY VIRGIN, LOOK ON ME WITH MERCY! Then I realized I was covered with sweat, my eyes burned with strange fire which pierced things, cleared a path right through them, and - came to rest on a figure clothed in yellow light, crowned with a red aureole. Her face was serenely shining. Sometimes it was the face of a beautiful woman and other times of a sweet child. Behind her perched on a gem-like tree was a pure white bird who fanned his wings again and again. The bird was enveloped in feathery yellow light. THIS IS YOUR SOUL, DIMITRI. IT IS LONELY AND UNCARED FOR. IT IS READY TO GIVE UP WHAT REMAINS OF ITS LIFE AS A SACRIFICE. While she spoke her eyes burned! I began to sob uncontrollably, I fell to the ground, clutching the ground and howling my sobs. Hot tears scalded my eyes, my heart was bursting. When I recovered, I was lying face down in the grass. It was dusk... I left the half full vodka bottle there in the grass. It was the last vodka bottle I have touched. I have taken many small steps over the past dozen years and completed a long journey. I often see that yellow light just out of reach, and my soul is airy and weightless.