Dimitri: English Poems

Bearsden Shark Walking the dog by a Glasgow burn What did Stan Wood find? It wasn't a beer tin A shrivelled up condom, A copy of the Glasgow Herald The used syringe of a junkie It wasn't a dumped fridge An Asda Receipt A coil of doggie poo But a Bearsden shark Not a high-flying banker A low-life moneylender It was a 330 million year old shark With a tooth-fin spine behind its head A new species of fish, Named Akmonistion Zangerli, Romans bathed in Bearsden Wealthy Glasgow businessmen live there now A limited species In Kilmardinny Loch and Nature Reserve Gruffalos abound, and golfers find it a natural habitat. The shark, however, is the star of the whole shebang Lording it in the Hunterian Museum Away from the eateries and crannies Of Scottish entrepreneurs Thankfully, it is dead The Dandy Lion The Dandy Lion wallops his tail Is he Art, or cultural vomit? Is he Disney bling? A despicable thing? A visual anal deposit? Like a pot of paint in the public's face, Or Tracey Emin's bed Or Marcel Duchamp's fountain Art's in the Beholder's head Some People Say Some people say An ex-husband's dog dirt on a shoe A stale ham sandwich A cough in Skye in October A rusty wheelbarrow Lilac mince A cat stringed fiddle A foxglove stuffed with earwigs The Kalahari desert in a drought An occasional nightmare The crack in a cement pool A soggy croissant A Ziggy stardust cigarette butt While an ex-wife is…..