Willie Wastle

Willie Wastle dwalt on Tweed, The spot they ca'd it Linkumdoddie. Willie was a wabster guid Could stown a clue wi onie body. He had a wife was dour and din, O, Tinkler Maidgie was her mither! Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her. She has an e'e (she has but ane), The cat has twa the very colour, Five rusty teeth, forbye a stump, A clapper-toungue wad deave a miller; A whiskin beard about her mou, Her nose and chin they threaten ither: Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her. She's bow-hough'd, she's hem-shin'd, Ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter; She's twisted right, she's twisted left, To balance fair in ilka quarter; She has a hump upon her breast, The twin o that upon her shouther: Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her. Auld baudrans by the ingle sits, An wi her loof her face a-washin; But Willie's wife is nae sae trig, She dights her frunzie wi a hushion; Her walie nieves like midden-creels, Her face wad fyle the Logan Water: Sic a wife as Willie had, I wad na gie a button for her.