I Am A Woman

I am that girl whi didn't fit into her mother's shoes, Tormented, cornered, ridiculed for being not too girly Cause I did not like dolls, and wanted to play football, 'Be feminine', they said, 'Learn how to cook, be obedient, pray for a good future husband, watch your conducts, learn manners, and never be like those horrible women who strive to learn diffefently, and by knowledge live on their own, Better live on the street'.. I had to be the girl they wanted me to be, So I gave up my dreams of football and prayed forgivance to the God who made us all, Guilty, shamed, I moved on... And one day, I began to bleed from somewhere I'm forbidden to name, 'Stay put', they said, 'your body is now dirty' The God that I prayed to everyday, now closed his doors on me, 'Don't go there when you're dirty! ' But mamma I'm a good girl, I play with dolls and never watch sports, I pray for a husband, a master, another God... And then they said my chest was flat, But when I wore padded bras, they said I was making them mad, When I wore a salwar, they called me bahenji When I wore jeans I was easy, And one day a man came in my life, 'You're beautiful', he said, and asked for my hand... 'I love you so much', he told me into my eyes, And I, a naïve girl, trusted him, And against the world in love I fell, .................................................................. Buy mamma, papa, why do you scold me so bad, I was a good girl, and he loved me... Why do you say that I brought disgrace upon you and the world? I didn't do a thing that was not for love... 'I am ashamed of you', said mamma, 'Wish you were dead'.... Daddy slapped me hard with the same hands that once taught me how to walk, My mom called me a whore with the same mouth that taught me words.... 'Get rid of it! ', they said together I obeyed like a good girl (I was not gonna keep it anyways) My lover, my hero, has meanwhile fled, My heart emptied of blood, with poison replaced, Yes, I am a girl The one who obeys, loves and gives up without a second thought, Yes, I am a woman, The one who over-reacts, in jealous-fits goes mad, and speaks too much, or too little... One, who has to give thanks that she was not killed in the womb, One, who's not been raped or killed or been burnt alive... I am the woman who was directed toward the nunnery, I am the one who was given snake hair, I'm the one who has been asked to take a purity test on fire, and then went under the earth, I'm all encompassing, I'm the harlot of your fantasies, I'm the mother who taught you to talk, I'm the semi-nude girl on the magazine, I'm the ideal partner, The obedient wife, Master-chef in kitchen, pornstar in bed, I'm the one you lust after despite your vows But then, I'm none of them, Neither the slut nor the sati, Neither pure nor corrupt, I am a woman, I am all women, But mostly, I'm a human being... Being the woman of your choice? Fucking no, I'm not that Neither will I ever be, At least from inside...